Gabi sucked in a deep breath then let it out in one long whoosh. “This has brought back all that happened ten years ago. I may finally be able to put the past behind me if I know he’s dead.”
After a brief knock at the door, two footmen and a row of maids arrived, carrying the tub and buckets of hot water. They set it up in front of the fire. Gabi and Caroline helped Vivian get out of her soiled dress and into the tub. Vivian’s maid, Molly left a couple of fluffy towels on a chair near the tub.
“Your food should be up soon, miss. Anything else I can do for you?”
“No, thank you, Molly. In fact, I’d love to have a few minutes alone to soak away my aches in this tub. I will ring someone if I need help.”
Gabi slid the screen in front of the tub for privacy, then she, Caroline, and Molly left. Vivian sighed and sank down into the warm water.
An hour later and after eating, she climbed into bed, thinking she would rest a bit while she waited for Jack to come to her. She closed her eyes leaning back against the pillows on the bed. She awoke in the waning evening light. Blinking, she sat up. Out the window, the sky was streaked with orange and pink clouds. Had she slept the whole day away?
Next to the candle on the bedside table lay an envelope with her name written on it in Jack’s hand. She picked it up, goosebumps crawling across her skin. Opening the letter, she read,
Dear Vivi,
This letter is the most difficult thing I have ever written. By the time you read this, I shall be gone. Trouble seems to find me wherever I go. This time it found you as well. I can’t risk you.
I never understood what I had done to deserve the time we had together, but I shall always cherish every moment. I love you, but I can’t be selfish. As much as I want you for myself, you will be better off without me in your life. I genuinely hope you find happiness.
Yours always, Jack
Vivian began shaking so badly the letter fell silently to the carpet. After all they had shared, how could he give her up? How could he give up on them? Her temper flared. She got up off the bed to pace across the carpet. How dare he turn tail and run away from her? The bloody stupid man. Hadn’t she proven she could handle any dangerous situation?
She reached down and picked up Jack’s letter, reading through it again. What in God’s name did he think he was doing, deciding for her who she would be better off with or without? Her anger could not protect her from the searing pain of knowing she would never see him again. She crumpled onto the bed, hot tears running freely down her face. The reality was Jack had left and she was alone.
The next morning, she had her breakfast tray sent up. She didn’t want to face anyone, not with knowing her engagement was off and her fiancé had run away. Besides, she hadn’t yet decided what to do next. Her first instinct was to run after him. She would tear into him, make him see reason. But at some point during her sleepless night, her pride kicked in. Damn him and his stupid male logic. He could damn well stew in his bad decision for a while. She would just see how long it took him to figure out he couldn’t live without her. Although her heart, the traitor, screamed out in fear. What if he was too stubborn to come to his senses?
She bit her lower lip and swallowed down a sob. Bloody hell…
A knock on the door broke through her thoughts. “Come in,” she called out.
Her father’s gruff face appeared as he came into the room.
“How are you feelin’ this morning, my dearie?” he inquired.
One look at his concerned face broke the tenuous hold she had on her emotions. She burst into fresh tears. Her father shut the door and rushed over to sit next to her on the bed.
Wrapping his arm around her, he asked, “What the devil is wrong, girl?”
She pulled Jack’s letter from underneath her pillow, holding it out to her father. He scanned the letter and stood abruptly. “I’ll kill that boy. I knew he blamed himself. I could read it all over his face, plain as day. Stupid, stupid.” He stomped around the room. “This is all my fault. Dubois is my enemy, and he was using you to get at me. Jack had nothing to do with your kidnapping.”
“I know, Papa. But what’s important is Jack thinks he is to blame. And frankly, I am inclined to let him stew in it for a while. I can’t believe he would turn tail and leave me like this!”
“Well, I am not going to let him get away with it. I am going to go track him down and beat some sense into him.” Her father leaned down to kiss her cheek and then turned to stalk out of the room.
“Wait, Papa!” Vivian called after him, but nothing was going to deter Captain Jamieson from his mission. He disappeared out the door. She flung herself back against the pillows. For goodness sake, were any of the men in her life ever going to listen to her before going off half-cocked? Apparently not. Although she hoped her father wouldn’t hurt Jack too badly. She still wanted him back in one piece…eventually.
****
Jack sat in his captain’s quarters on theLady Louise, staring out the windows at the River Thames. He had left without a word to anyone. If he discussed his decision with his family, they would be appalled and disappointed. A gentleman does not back out of an engagement, even if it is in the best interest of the lady. He would write them later to explain and assure them he would be back for Christmas. That he meant what he said about being part of the family again.
He took a swig from the bottle of whiskey he was nursing. It had been twenty-four hours since he had left Vivian the letter. What a coward it made him, but he couldn’t face her. She would be able to convince him to stay with one look, one touch. No, she would be better off without him. He took another swig.
The door to the cabin burst open, swinging violently on its hinges.
“Aston! You devil.” Captain Jamieson bellowed. Jack got up and staggered a little, blinking at the burly frame of Vivian’s father in the doorway.
“Go away, Capt’n, I’m nut going back,” he slurred, shaking his head, perhaps he’d drunk more than he thought.
