“Thanks, Lisa.”
We walk back home, hand in hand, both of us quiet, and I know Miles is processing it all.Singing is what he loves, but it also holds a lot of bad memories, and I don’t just mean for the two of us.
The guys in the band were thick as thieves, basically growing up together and adding Isaac later.But the original guys—Sutton, Dean, and Lacey—along with Miles became a band with practice and hard work and growth.
They logged the hours: bloody fingers and broken drumsticks, arguments and celebrations.It was beautiful and poetic, scary and exciting, and these were just my feelings.I wasn’t even part of the band, but we all knew they were bound for something bigger than Maui.
We watched them go from a shitty garage band to playing in local bars and then getting the opportunity to showcase their talent at the Maui Songwriters Festival.It felt like the whole community saw them grow up and become something, so when they were approached by a producer who wanted to make an album with them, it was the logical next step.
Logical but risky, and I’m sure a little scary.
And then there was the tour, a tour with the opportunity to go worldwide, but it never got that far.
The second we step in the door of our house, I look at him, a mix of sadness and apprehension washing over his face.His eyes speak to me, telling me all the things he’s afraid to say out loud.
I can feel the space change, but I can also feel the comfort we share, and Miles lets out a hard sigh, his arms wrapping around me.
“What’s going on?”I whisper, my fingers sliding over the buzzed hair at the nape of his neck, holding him close.My lips trail along his neck, leaving soft kisses in their wake.
The beating of our hearts match, the rhythm calming me, and I close my eyes.Waiting for Miles to tell me what he’s feeling, waiting for the raw honesty that we both need.
“I have a ton of guilt,” Miles admits, his arms tightening around me.He holds me close, not letting me look at him.
“Why?”The word comes out soft and sweet, and I walk him over to the couch.Sitting down, he follows suit, but instead of sitting, he lays his head in my lap.
“They’re not just my songs, Daisy.They belong to the band,” he explains, pausing to let it sink in.“And as much as things suck between us, I think I owe it to them to ask permission to use them.”
“Or you could just do some new original stuff,” I suggest, smiling down at him.“You wrote that song for me, remember?”
“While I love your enthusiasm, babe, it’s not that easy.I have one new song, and I know people coming to see me are going to want…”
He doesn’t finish his thought, but I know what he was going to say.
People aren’t coming to hear Miles play new songs or covers.They want to hear the songs that made him, songs that made Silent Daydream famous.The same songs that still grace the airwaves of the radio and the ones people stream that keep bringing in money for Miles and the band.
In this moment, I couldn’t love Miles more.My heart is bursting, and the smile that crosses my lips has Miles looking up at me with confusion.
“I think I have to reach out to them,” he says, and all I can do is nod, the tears welling in my eyes.
We go to bed with so much floating around in our heads, and it’s still there when we wake up.With heavy eyes, I wrap myself around Miles, the warmth of his body one of the greatest feelings in the world.The contented sigh that falls from my lips matches the rhythm of Miles’s soft breaths.
“Did you do it last night after I fell asleep?”I ask him, but he just shakes his head.
“I’m struggling,” he admits, the honesty becoming part of who we are now, no longer bottling things up.
“I know.When you split, things weren’t good.It’s scary to reach out to them, but maybe the time has done everyone some good.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he says, his fingers tracing absentminded circles on my bare skin.
“It worked for us,” I reply, hopeful and smiling.“But I don’t ever want to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, and I understand that anything to do with the band can be triggering.”
“Yeah,” he says again, and I know very little about what happened when they were on tour.
I only know what I saw on the band’s social media and then when the news media picked up the story of canceled shows, a fight with the band they were supporting, and a rift between the members.
The tabloids had a field day with it all, and what was said could have all been lies for all I know.I learned a lot about people during Miles’s tour and how they love to attach themselves to fame and gossip, especially when it’s going down in flames.
But we don’t talk about any of that, and among our group of friends, it was an unspoken rule that we didn’t talk about Miles or the band when the media came knocking.
