Or perhaps I didn’t know Freedom at all because I was too lost in love with him.
SENIOR YEAR
The Friday night crowd yelled at the top of their lungs as the Oak Valley High Knights scored a winning touchdown with five seconds left in the Homecoming game. Lori and I jumped up and down with everyone else. Our football team finally had a winning season, and I chose the perfect time to attend my first game during my senior year.
“I can’t believe I waited so long to come to a game, and now I’m graduating.” I hugged Lori.
She pulled back, twisting her lips. “You don’t care about this game. You’re here hoping to see Freedom.”
“No, if I came to see him, I would’ve left by now. You see that he isn’t here.” I rolled my neck, though I had been disappointed to see Kody and some other guys from our class clowning near the band. But no Freedom.
Lori laughed loudly. “You stayed because we don’t have a ride until my mama comes to get us.”
“Not true.” I protested as we piled out of the stadium. I looked over my shoulder at Kody and his friends, walking behind us, hoping to see Freedom. Kody caught my glance and winked at me. I nodded quickly and turned back around. Something about him didn’t gel with me. I couldn’t tell if he was breaking bro code or something. He would talk to me or compliment me whenever Freedom wasn’t around, whereas Freedom didn’t hide that he was interested in me from anyone.
Freedom had told me he would be here tonight, that we could sit together, and that he would buy me a chili dog. I’d worn a thin jacket to cover my crop top, wanting to show Freedom the piercing in my belly that I managed to hide from my overbearing father. I thought maybe we would finally kiss after a month of lunches and meeting me at my locker every morning and afternoon. Standing me up didn’t seem like him. Yet, Lori and I were in the parking lot searching for her mother to pick us up for a sleepover at Lori’s house, and I hadn’t heard from him.
Biting back the ache in my heart, I listened to my friend chat about the game and our classmates. I’m sure Freedom had a good excuse. Maybe he couldn’t get a ride or had the money. I knew he was raised by a single father who struggled to maintain employment. Coming up with a rationale for his absence consoled me,andthat we won the very first game I attended.
A breeze lifted the back of my hair, and I sensed him. Scanning the crowded parking lot, I spotted him, leaning against the metal legs of the bleachers, alone, wearing a hoodie. My breath caught when our eyes locked, and even from this distance, I could see the bruise on his face from the bright stadium lights.
My eyes remained trained on him as if he would disappear if I looked away. “Um…cover for me. Tell your Mama that I’m spending the night with my grandparents, okay? Freedom is waiting for me.”
“He’s here?” She looked in the direction of my gaze, and he pulled the hood closer around his face. “Is he okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“We were supposed to stay up all night watching reruns ofThe Game. I’ve been recording them just for tonight,” She whined.
“We still have tomorrow night. I promise I’ll find a way to get to your house tomorrow. Please.” I nudged her shoulder. “Youknow if it were Brett, you would forget I existed.” Brett was her hopeless crush, a member of the football team, who only went after the cheerleaders.
She flared her nostrils. “How are you going to get home tonight?”
“His cousin has a car that he borrows sometimes.” I lied, refusing to worry about how I would get home. Freedom needed me. That’s all that mattered. “I’ll text you once I make it home.”
“Then you better go before my mama sees you. She’s going to want to wait around until someone picks you up.” Lori finally relented.
“Thank you.” I hugged her tightly.
“You owe me.” She called after me as I hurried to Freedom.
My arms went around his neck the moment I reached him, and his arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me off my feet. He placed me back down and gave me a weak smile. “Had to get here so you wouldn’t think I stood you up.”
“Why didn’t you call?” I studied his face, wanting to kiss the bruise around his eye and his lip that had been cut. “What happened?”
He shrugged. “Got into it with my father because I told Peace he could go out with his friends. He hit me in the face twice, and I ran out of the house, leaving my cell.”
“He did that to your face?”
His normally teasing eyes welled up. “I’m so sick of his shit. Sick of this life. Sometimes I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Don’t say that.” I cupped his face, and he winced, though he didn’t move his head away from me. “Don’t ever say that.”
“You don’t know what it’s like living with him. Mean and abusive one minute, and apologetic the next, because he can barely keep a roof over our head and clothes on our back. He can’t keep a job because he can’t stop drinking and smoking to pass a damn drug test. I got to do things I hate to make sure weeat when that’s supposed to be his damn job. Then he stays after my brother, trying to make him into a man when my brother is already a better man than him.” He grabbed me to him and whispered in my ear, “I’m so tired, baby. You’re the only hope I have.”
Fear strangled my heart, and I placed my arms around his neck again. “You’re scaring me. Please don’t talk like this.”
Freedom’s eyes watered as he chuckled. “Guess, I do sound like I want to kill myself.”
