Journei leaned into me and cried. I mentioned a set of names to her once. I didn’t think she would agree to them or even tell others about them. Those two names were special to me.
Yurina was the name I wanted for my daughter. It was somethin’ I thought to be unique from the mixture of my mom’s name and mamas somehow.
The items were hookah pendants with Yurina’s name as the hose, hookah flavors called Yonei, and two different neon hookah signs with their names signed into the mouthpiece.
They had two sets of candles made, which held two different scents. Yonei smelled like lavender and peach combined while Yurina held a softer smell. Like powder almost.
I was feeling everything they did. Journei wouldn’t stop cryin’, which made some of her guests cry as well. I didn’t know what to do besides give Nina the signal to wrap everything up. It was time to go home after that.
Laying up in the bed, enjoying the comfort of one another was the state we were in. We ended up staying for an extra hour after the grand opening was done to make sure her staff knew how to shut the store down right.
That was the one time I could agree with her when she said she was exhausted. She was pregnant, running around to keep things afloat while I used my time to make sure she was straight.
I admired her professionalism earlier. She didn’t let her introvert side show while networking. Her social skills needed some improvement, but overall, she held her own.
I planted kisses along her forehead. Our time had been tied up lately or apart. Being able to relax and not have a worry was the best thing out. She had been on go mode since her birthday. She had finally reached a level to breathe.
“You good, mama?”
“I’m more than good, baby. Tonight was special. I appreciate you and your family. Y’all came through and made me the center of attention in the most loving way. Thank you, baby.”
“That was all you. I just went along with what you had planned. That was your dream, and you fulfilled it, mama. I’m proud of you.”
“I didn’t tell you about goin’ with Yurina for the baby’s name because I wanted to surprise you, but them damn twins beat me to it. I hope you don’t mind.”
I shook my head while smiling. She really listened, and I never had that. It was always a one-sided relationship for me. That showed she respected my words. One more thing to add to her list.
&
“Why should I? I gave you an opportunity, and you fumbled it. That was the chance to change things around and have them play in yo’ favor. She would’ve taken her foot off yo’ neck and gave yo’ stupid tail self some room to breathe in her life.”
I was at Jourdell’s four by four with him hemmed up against the wall. I was beyond pissed. That sorry excuse of a father and man had the audacity to call the day after, wanting to apologize. The apology would’ve been accepted if his excuse wasn’t a load of bull junk.
“Pastor, I swear my car wouldn’t crank, and I didn’t have the funds for an Uber.”
“Did I or did I not say hit my fuckin’ line if you needed a ride and I would’ve arranged it? So now you got selective fuckin’ hearing?” He flipped the switch in me. I didn’t come to play with him.
Journei didn’t care to see him in the first place, but I know she would’ve appreciated him showing up for her special moment. Little things like that mattered to her.
All he did was nod, which made my blood boil. I slung him across the room onto his sofa. My woman and her time weren’t goin’ to be played with either. Her mouth constantly said no, but I saw in her eyes how she wanted her father’s love.
“I fucked up. I’m sorry,” he cried.
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. And is that fuckin’ alcohol on yo’ breath? Nigga, get yo’self together before she come in here. And you better mean every fuckin’ word. Got me losing my religion…” My words faded off as I walked out the door.
Journei was in the car waiting for me. I was rooting for their relationship, but with his actions, I didn’t care if that was the last time he ever saw my woman.
Journei
Iwoke up that next morning to tons of text from Jourdell tryin’ to apologize again for not showing up to my grand opening. It didn’t bother me that he didn’t show, but he was given an invitation through Christian, which he RSVP’d. I expected to see him before the night ended.
Honestly, if he would’ve showed, then I would’ve eased up just a tad bit. Maybe accepted his efforts and put forth some of my own. He fucked that up though. That apology went in one ear and out the other.
That was over two months ago. I was now big as a house, gettin’ prepared for the new addition to our house. Exhausted wasn’t a good enough word.
Christian stood by what he said and had someone come change the baby’s room around. The room went from blue and green to yellow and pink. Since the nursery was joint to the master bedroom, we decided that would be easier to deal with.
Everything in my life was starting to come full circle. Christian was coaching me on how to accept the good. I turned away so much or in church terms “blocked my own blessings”, whatever that meant.
