“I’m sorry, baby. I just don’t know what to expect. I’m not mentally prepared for him,” she said, letting her nervousness show.
“This yo’ show, mama. If it’s not goin’ the way you want it to, end it. I won’t make you converse longer than you want.”
“Promise?”
I closed the gap and kissed her firmly. “Anything I say, I stand on. It’s yo’ world tonight.”
With that, we got dressed and made our way downstairs. The chef was finishing up with plating when I heard a car pull up. Well, we couldn’t not hear it with how loud it was rattling.
I saw a figure walking toward the door, so I tried to beat them there. I snatched the door open, and there stood Jourdell with his hand in motion to knock. He looked to be someone’s grandpa in that polo and slack get-up.
I stepped outside on the porch to have a quick word before he officially met his daughter. There were some ground rules I had to let be known. He wasn’t about to step foot in my crib and get outside his body period.
“My woman won’t be disrespected not once. You won’t touch her unless she makes the gesture. You goin’ to listen to everything she has to say and understand her point of view. She already nervous, so don’t make it worse. Answer her truthfully, and last but not least… steal anything from my crib and watch you not make it to see the light of day.”
I opened the door and extended my arm for him to enter. I was goin’ to keep my eyes on him from the moment he entered ’til the time exited.
He didn’t need to acknowledge what I said, because I knew he heard me. Jourdell knew of Pastor Gills, but Hades was the person he should’ve done a background check on.
Once inside, I led him to the dining area. Journei wasn’t seated at the table when we arrived, so I had to go hunt her down. I offered him the seat closest to the door. If put out, he wouldn’t have to walk far.
“Have a seat. Let me go get her.”
He took a seat, and in walked mama with a smile on her face. I didn’t know if she was masking her true feelings or what. I reached for her hand, which she gladly gave, and walked around to the opposite side of the table.
When we sat, her hand immediately cuffed my thigh. She did that when her nerves were off the chart. Touching me in some shape or form put her at ease.
I said a quick prayer over the food and dug in. That meeting was for them, not me. I wasn’t about to starve for nobody. Jourdell and Journei both began eating shortly after. Silence filled the room for quite some time until Jourdell spoke.
“Spot, I?—”
“That’s not my name.” Mama cut him off before he could even get started.
His eyes shot over to me, and I ignored the stares. I said my piece before he walked up in there. I wasn’t repeating myself.
“Sorry. The first thing I want to do is apologize. No number of apologies or excuses will change what I did. I was ill and needed help. Prison gave me time to change and think about my wrongs. I hurt you by hurting your mother and carry around my own burdens for that. I don’t know if you’ll ever give me a genuine chance, but I’m askin’ that you do.”
His words actually seemed to be sincere. Journei squeezed my thigh a few times before she cleared her throat to respond. I was being used as her calming tool.
“I don’t like you, and I damn sure don’t love you, but I no longer hate you. If it wasn’t for this man sittin’ beside me, you wouldn’t be in my presence. You want a second chance withme, but that has to be earned. I won’t give you shit if the effort isn’t there. I’m not that thirteen-year-old girl that you can abuse whenever you feel like it.”
“And he better understand it,” I chimed in.
“However long it takes to earn you back, then I’m here for it. I just want to be in your life and what it seems to look like my grandchild’s life as well.”
Mama nodded and handed over a folded piece of paper. “This is my number. You can call or text it whenever you like. I won’t meet up with you anywhere until I feel comfortable. Respect my wishes and we can continue to try this bond thing.”
I was proud of her for handling him in a respectful manner. He was probably thinking the worst, but she dismissed that with her kindness.
We engaged in general conversation over dinner. It was dessert that brought on the real questions and answers. Surprisingly, Jourdell answered every single one of them.
“What made you start hittin’ me?”
“You reminded me of Yonei. Your personality is all her. I felt like I was being haunted by her through you.”
“Why did you hit my mother?”
“Yonei found out about the other women that I was entertaining and threatened me multiples time to take you and leave. I wasn’t goin’ for it.”
