Pullin’ up on Alexis was a bad idea. I knew it was, but Christian had gone MIA, and I was vulnerable.
That girl had been doin’ me wrong since the beginning. She hadn’t apologized for adding bullshit to the pile of unhealthy shit I was already dealing with either.
A part of me was genuinely interested in what she wanted to say. I wasn’t goin’ back to her as her wife ever, but curiosity was beatin’ my ass. Maybe she would own up to her bullshit.
With my phone in tow, I called Christian once more, and again, I got no answer. I cried once the automated voicemail took over. He made me feel as if expressing my love for him was too much for him to handle.
Mrs. Gills strolled in the kitchen unbothered by her grandson’s disappearance. In a way, I felt like she knew he was goin’ to leave me. Like she knew where he was as well as what he was doin’.
“Sweetheart why are you sittin’ in here cryin’?” she asked.
“I’m not havin’ this conversation with you,” I sassed.
“As long as you’re in my house, anything I ask you will be answered. You’re in your feeling’s ova my grandson, but I still expect respect. Now, why are you sittin’ here cryin’?”
Her comment of me being in her house came through louder than I wanted it to. Truth was, I was trapped there.
Calling for an Uber or Lyft was out the picture due to how far she stayed in the country. No one wanted to drive that far out. Taking one of her cars crossed my mind a time or two but sitting in a cell for grand theft auto seemed like the only move.
“The father of my child left, my calls are ignored, and I can’t leave even if I tried,” I said in the quickest but simplest terms.
“He cares about his family, Journei. Why can’t you trust that he’s doin’ what needs to be done to keep his family safe?”
“Because anything can fuckin’ happen. He could’ve kept us safe by bein’ by our side. He didn’t need to run off and leave me here distraught the way I am. I’m forgettin’ to feed his son because my mind is on him. I haven’t slept since I wokeup yesterday, but somehow, you’re well fuckin’ rested. I don’t understand y’all!” I shouted my response.
More tears fell after I voiced what I was feeling. I had no clue as to what that man was doin’. As many lives he took, hell, someone’s family could come back for revenge.
Mrs. Gills walked to her fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine, then came to sit with me at the island. She reached for one of the glasses sitting in the middle to pour herself a glass.
“Years I prayed for that boy to find him someone, settle down, create a family, and enjoy life as a husband and father. He found you and is creating that family,” she said and placed her hand on my stomach. “You’re someone else’s wife… for now, but I promise Gills will be attached to your name before you know it. Men do things women will never understand, but they protect and provide in ways we can’t. Trust in your man, baby.”
We sat in silence at that island—me in my head, and Mrs. Gills just there for comfort. I fed my son as thoughts of his father ran a mile a minute.
He was the one I would go to hell and back for, the one I would lay down my life for if it saved his. Christian was the love I had been waiting so long for. He was my greatest mistake, and for that, I wasn’t sorry.
I finally made my way back upstairs to the bedroom I got left in. It was a lil’ after eleven, so I decided to get a bath until Alexis sent a text. I was hoping for the jacuzzi jets to relax me.
Pouring in lavender serum as the tub filled, I undressed and examined my body. Life had taken me through enough misery.
The scars that were hidden under my tattoos reminded me of it. Pain had hit me in many forms throughout my twenty-six years.
My father was a topic I didn’t give energy to, but he was tryin’ his hardest to talk to me. Him goin’ through Christian, or should I say Pastor Gills, blew the fuck out of me.
Jourdell knew my answer was a hard no regarding anything with his abusive ass. I didn’t want to fix shit. He was written off as someone I wouldn’t piss on to put a fire out for. If I knew one thing, I knew my space would never be shared with him again.
I stepped inside the tub immediately loving the feeling of the warm water against my skin. I sat and let the sounds of the jets relax me. My thoughts needed to calm down.
Too many people and things were causing ruckus in my head. I laid my head back and let the lavender scent from the water take over. A quick nap before an unexpected visit wouldn’t hurt.
I was awakened by my phone sounding off with an alert. The water had gone cold, and my skin was wrinkled. Pulling the plug, the water drained, and I stepped out of the tub.
The alert was a text from Alexis saying she was leaving the warehouse. I glanced at the time right above it and saw it was a lil’ after midnight. I had time to get a quick shower before leaving to meet the devil.
I handled my business in the bathroom at a fast pace. Christian wasn’t there, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t show up at any given time. I rummaged through my suitcase and came across a Nike set my baby daddy bought me.
The set was simple but cute—biker shorts with a T-shirt to match. Not much to flash, but I was comfortable in it. I put my bushy hair up in a messy ponytail, then slipped on my Nike slides.
I picked up my phone and decided to send the love of my life a polite “fuck you” text before departing.
