Gills
“My flesh and heart may fail, but God, you are my shield. You gave strength to your people and blessed us with peace. But Heavenly Father, I need you to bless this piece of steel that’s about to take a few of these sinners out. Forgive me for my wicked ways to come, and I pray you pardon me.” Hunz had just hit my line again after a few missed calls, and I immediately started speaking to God.
These people had me messed up in the state of Tennessee. Alexis started runnin’ on borrowed time when she made it up in her simpleminded head that I was the one to come for. Jourdell Evans was gon’ be dealt with accordingly. He had one time to go up on my baby or show any type of disrespect, and it was on.
Journei was gon’ see a side of me that’d been tucked in the cut. There wasn’t no way she thought keepin’ my child away from me was the best thing to do. I wasn’t about to miss out on a thing when it came to mine. Whether we worked out or not, my child was gon’ hear my voice and see my face every day.
I was on my way to her condo with anger flowing through my veins. Hunz gave me all the details I needed. Even down to where his spare key was plus the alarm code. I wasn’t ’bout to play with Journei.
She was pregnant with my child but had a wife attached to her name. Married people reacted different, so wasn’t no telling how Alexis was gon’ retaliate when it came to her. She was in danger, whether she wanted to believe it or not.
Her place wasn’t too far from my crib, but it was a good amount of distance between us. When I got there, I followed what my brotha put in my ear.
The smell of her perfume smacked me in the face once I opened the door. Just like any other time, it took over my senses. I listened for the alarm and heard nothin’. She was either there already, or she never had her alarm on.
I closed the door and made my way further inside. Soon as I turned the corner to her living room, there was a pile of bags sitting in her floor. As bad as I wanted to search through her space, I didn’t.
Instead, I called her phone to see where she was. I could hear her phone ringing from the back. That was all the confirmation I needed. Hanging up, I got comfortable on her recliner sofa. Kicked my feet up and all.
A few minutes later, I heard her voice. “You ashy ass piece of chocolate. I asked you not to tell him, and you did it anyway. I needed a minute, Hunz, damn. Just know I’m puttin’ yo’ ass on punishment.”
I looked behind me to see Journei wrapped in a towel with a clenched jaw. She was pissed, and from what I heard, she just needed time for it to register before facing me.
Hunz wasn’t in the wrong for goin’ against her, but then again, he was. That was what happens when your best friends mess around.
“Come here, Journei.”
“Get out my house, Christian. You made it perfectly clear on what you wanted me to do, which doesn’t involve you, so leave,” she threw back.
“I will after we get done. I won’t repeat myself though.” I never budged from the position I was in.
It took her a minute, but she did as I requested. She took a seat next to me and started tugging at her fingers. The only thing I was concerned about was her thoughts on what we made. At the end of the day, it was her body, and if she wanted to get rid of our child, she had that option.
“First off, I’m sorry.” I apologized before I said anything else.
“For what exactly? The way you spoke to me, puttin’ me out yo’ shit, or gettin’ me pregnant? Please fuckin’ enlighten me.” Her attitude was evident.
“All of it. However, what I said still stands. You are selfish, Journei. In Chattanooga, you’re the wife to Alexis. Up here in Nashville, you’re all of mine. In the words of Jill Scott, ‘from your hair follicles to your toenails, that’s all me.’ You have it all—a marriage, a side piece technically, and now a baby. And what do me and Alexis get outta this? Havin’ to share you to someone else. One or all gon’ end up hurt in the end.”
Alexis was gon’ end up hurt for sure. That I knew. But what I didn’t know was the pain it would bring Journei. Her birthday night, she was hurt by her wife’s actions, which pushed her to me faster. There was no doubt in my mind that she was made for me. She needed to see that on her own though.
“Wow. That was an earful. And for the record, since we’re bein’ so damn honest… you’re sharing me physically and emotionally. My mind, however, hasn’t been on anyone but you. Christian, you are the first in so many categories, and that scares me most of the time, but it doesn’t stop me from comin’ to you. Whether I was on yo’ dick when I said it or standing in the grocery store, I need you,” she said, letting those pretty brown eyes pierce my soul.
All I heard from her was she needed me. I already knew that, hence the reason why I was there. She needed me in more waysthan she knew. Her world was already shaking, and it would soon collapse, leaving nothin’ but debris.
Hunz hadn’t told her about Jourdell yet, which meant I had to. It wasn’t the time, but it had to get delivered, or else that pop-up was gon’ be brutal.
“I only have one question, and after that I’ll give you your space. What’s yo’ decision on the baby?” I asked.
“Haven’t thought that far. My mother was a damn good mom, but my father made me scared to have a child of my own. Anything can change, and if I change for the worse, I didn’t want my kid to suffer from it. It’s just a lot to think about,” she answered truthfully.
“Allow me to take this parenthood journey with you. You won’t have to do this by yourself or feel pressured about anything if I’m there. I want you to keep it, but it’s your choice. While you’re in your thoughts, think on that too.”
I let the recliner down, then stood to leave. I was keeping her spare key though. There wasn’t no telling when that would come in handy. She stood shortly after saying she would.
I brought her in for a hug and placed a kiss on top of her head. In that moment, I was at ease. She was safe, and I didn’t have to worry while she was in my arms.
As I headed toward the door, that angelic voice asked what I intended on doin’. “Christian, do you wanna stay for a while? We can order some food and watch some movies if you want.”
