Journei hesitated to touch the bags. I didn’t like the space we were in, but I was tryna respect her and keep the peace. What I wanted to do was lay her on that table and take her to those same places we visited that night all over my condo.See? Losing control.
Belle Air didn’t say a word. She just threw Journei a wink and walked out. We were alone, and that wasn’t safe for either of us. Things happened when we were alone. No matter how many times I told myself to stay away, I couldn’t. I wanted to know everything there was about Journei, but her marriage stopped all of that.
“I got this for you as a late birthday gift. I know you prolly don’t want nothin’ from me, but I try to stand by my word.”
Silence surrounded us as she dug into the bags. No eye contact was made until each box was opened. When she looked at me, I could see the tears sitting at the brim of her eyes. That woman cried a lot.
“Thank you, Gills.”
“That’s not my name, Journei.” I didn’t like her callin’ me by the name everyone else did.
“Thank you, Christian.” She reached for a hug, which I declined. “So, you’re really doin’ this? You can’t even touch me now?” I could see the hurt on her pretty lil’ face. Those same tears decided to fall. I didn’t ever wanna be the reason she cried.
I leaned over to hug her when her perfume took over my senses yet again. As I pulled back, she fisted the sides of my shirt and kissed on my neck. She didn’t want me to move. Declining the first time was because of that. I knew there would be more. Hunz could’ve done the favor, and all of that would’ve been avoided.
“Journei, don’t do this.”
The most she did was release the grip she had on my shirt. Her lips never detached from my skin. We weren’t about to do that again. I stepped back and headed for the door. For the record, I didn’t know short people could move so fast. She beat me to the kitchen doorway, halting my steps.
“You owe me a conversation, Christian, and you know it.”
I didn’t owe her a thing. My actions were based off the events that happened between us. I put it all in the letter I left for her. I didn’t need to explain nothin’ about nothin’. I said what I said and givin’ her a conversation would lead to me enjoying her walls again.
“I don’t. Tell Hunz I’ll get at him later. Excuse me.” With that, I moved her lil’ body over to the side and left.
What Journei failed to understand was the type of activities we engaged in could have me out there down bad. Each time I entered her canal that night, I felt more at home than I already was. Being inside her was exactly where I needed to be.
I took that two-hour drive aggravated as ever. Journei didn’t care about her marriage when I was around. Alexis might’ve stepped out, but she was still her wife. I didn’t like how I held more respect for their union than she did.
Truthfully, I didn’t care about their marriage for real, but if Journei was my wife, I wouldn’t want anyone doin’ half of what we’d done already.
From the things she said to Belle Air, I knew we were gon’ end as one, but I wouldn’t influence her by sex or my presence. She would have to come to me willingly and divorced. Until then, I had no reason to be around nor converse with her.
It was after seven when I made it back to Nashville. I had a few things to handle, but I was mad tired. Lately, I been feeling drained and just wanted to sleep. I found myself taking naps throughout the day like a toddler. It was weird since I always had the most energy.
“Mr. Gills, a package came for you yesterday. I forgot I placed it in the office.” Nari was our eyes and ears for the building. She might’ve worked the front desk, but she knew everything that went down in these condos.
“’Preciate that.” I grabbed the bag from her and headed for my floor.
When I entered my condo, I placed my things down on the bar. Nobody knew where I resided other than my granny, Hunz, and Journei. I reached in and pulled out a set of expensive sheets with a card attached. I only had one person in mind. I read the card to make sure.
I’m sorry for soakin’ your sheets and comforter the way I did. Hopefully, this will be accepted along with my apology. I shouldn’t be replacing shit since it was you that caused me to do so much damage. You want distance, so I figured I’d just drop it off instead of givin’ it to you personally. Goodbye, Christian Gills.
Even though I’d just left her, reading the wordgoodbyehurt me a lil’ bit. I proposed the distanced act, but I didn’t want her out altogether. That goodbye felt like she bounced for good and cut all ties to us.
Journei did too much to me that I couldn’t control or understand. It wasn’t no way one person had me cuttin’ up like that. I put on some music to drown her out and do somethin’ other than focusing on Journei Evans.
Slow jams played as I turned down for the night. I had a workshop to do the next day, and I was gon’ need the energy. I showered and decided to make somethin’ quick to eat. A few good tacos were gon’ get me right. It’d been a minute since I made them, but I couldn’t go wrong with crab tacos.
I was in the comfort of my home, so I was butterball naked. I didn’t have a reason to cover myself or respect a soul in there other than mine. Plus, nobody had a key to my place except Nari, and she knew better than to violate the rules. She got paid nicely from the private company.
Babe, I know they’ve seen us before.
Maybe at the liquor store, or maybe at the health food stand.
They don’t know that I’m your man.
Reciting word for word with D’Angelo to “Lady” had me vibin’ out while cookin’. I couldn’t get with too much gospel. I knew the Word and would listen to it, but I was a ’90s baby through and through.
