My pulse, my breath, my reality.
It can’t be, but it is.
With trembling hands, I type one last text.
Me:
How fucking could you?
Chapter 34
I’ve been home for hours, curled on the couch under a blanket, the TV murmuring in the background while I let the world keep going without me. My phone started ringing and pinging the second I walked in, so I put it on silent, left it face down on the kitchen counter, took off last night’s clothes, and slid into the softest pajamas I own. Since then, I haven’t moved from this spot.
The lock rattles. The front door opens, and two whispering shadows slip in—Anna and Bri. Their voices sound distant in my living room, and something in me feels just as faded.
I shouldn’t be here. I should’ve gone somewhere else, anywhere. But where? This is supposed to be my safe place, and right now, I can’t breathe in it. I don’t want questions. I don’t want to explain how the best night of my life collapsed into a lie.
How long has he known? The question claws at me, relentless.
They cross the room and kneel in front of me. Concern is written on both their faces.
“Are you okay, Lina?” Anna asks first. She presses the back of her hand to my forehead.
I must look like I’m dying, even though I’m not. It just hurts. It feels like the world has been rewired, and I’m the only one with the wrong settings.
“I’m fine,” I say, sitting up and gently moving Anna’s hand away.
Bri folds her arms and tilts her head. “Then explain why there’s a six-foot-four Irish footballer pacing outside our building.”
“He’s outside?” I ask, stunned.
“We ran into him downstairs,” Marianna says. “He’s literally pacing. When he saw us, he came running and asked if we’d seen you. He wanted to know if you were okay.”
Dramatic, I think, rolling my eyes though the smallness in my chest won’t let me laugh.
“What the hell happened?” Bri snaps. “Last I heard, you were beaming, freshly railed, and glowing. So what did he do?”
“Nothing,” I say, too fast.
“Catalina,” Bri says, serious now. “Did that man do something you didn’t want? Tell us. I don’t care how big he is, I’ll chop his balls off.”
“No,” I insist, sitting up straighter. “It’s not like that, I promise.”
Bri huffs, and the bitterness leaves her a little.
Marianna grasps my hand. “Okay,” she says softly. “You don’t have to talk about it. We just want to make sure you’re safe.”
“I am,” I lie, and it tastes bitter. “I’m… hurt. Disappointed. I gave him my heart too fast. That’s on me.”
They exchange a look that says they understand without fully knowing.
“Is it safe to tell him you’re okay, that you’ll reach out when you’re ready?” Marianna asks. “He said he’ll wait outside until he knows you’re fine.”
“Yes, that’s fine,” I whisper. A single tear trails down my cheek. “But I don’t want to talk to him right now.”
“That’s okay,” Marianna says. She stands and strokes my hair, a small, steady gesture. “I’ll run downstairs and tell him you’re safe so he can go home before he attracts attention to himself pacing around our building.”
“Okay,” I manage. Her smile is gentle when she leaves. I hear the front door click shut behind her.
