“Give me your pain, Isla,” I grunt out. “From the closet that day. From the man who looked through you when you deserved to be seen.” My body begins to tremble. “Give it to me. I want all of it.”
Her eyebrows pinch together. “Give me yours,” she whimpers. “Pour all of it inside of me. I want it.” She sucks in a breath, continuing to ride me. “Please.”
“Here … you go …” I shudder as cum shoots from my cock, inside her heat, just as her pussy convulses around me, squeezing my cock harder, as if demanding every ounce of what I can give.
She cries out while she comes with me, leaning forward and burrowing her face into my shoulder. Her teeth bite down on the fabric of my shirt, and my head spins so fast that black dances into my vision, forcing me to squeeze my eyes shut.
Our chests heave together, and her body trembles against mine while her throat croaks as she tries to catch her breath. After a few minutes, I let my fingertips roam up and down her body, just like before, and she pulls back to look at me.
She doesn’t say anything, just smiles before pressing a kiss to my lips.
“Thank you,” she whispers, kissing me again.
“No, Nineteen,” I mutter against her lips. “I promise, I should be the one thanking you right now. So, thank you.”
Her body collapses against mine again, and in the pouring rain, we just sit in the silence. She holds on to me tightly, like her life depends on it, and it’s the first time in my entire fucking life that I feel like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.
She gives me that.
But despite the peace having her this close to me brings, I also know inside that I fucked up when I didn’t tell her that I already knew the stuff about her biological dad. She thought she was admitting her deep secret to me, but the truth is, I’ve known that for a long time. I knew when I followed her into that closet that day too. But if she knew that, would she think I took advantage of her when she was down? I fucking hope not. I’m finally feeling like she’s letting me in, and I can’t afford to have her pull back if I told her the truth. Besides, I have secrets much deeper than that. Her pulling away from me is inevitable. But, fuck, I can’t let her do it just yet. Not when it feels like I need her to breathe.
I keep my arms around her, feeling her breathing against my body.
I didn’t take Isla with me today to get in her pants. But if I’m being honest, I know damn well that what just happened between us goes much deeper than that anyway.
And if I thought there was no going back from tasting her, I’m completely fucked now.
EIGHTEEN
HENDRIX
After an hour-long driveto a place I swore I’d never return to, I sit in my truck, looking across the road at the pathetic four walls I used to call a home. With a random piece of shit in the driveway and only one light on, my fists wrap around my steering wheel, and with each passing second, I grow more fucking angry.
After what happened with me and Isla yesterday, I just keep thinking how much I’ve let the past rule my present for too long. Isla Hardy doesn’t deserve the angry, fucked-up kid who came from the house across the road from where I’m parked. She deserves way more, and that’s who I want to be. And for some stupid fucking reason, before I knew it tonight, I was driving here.
Like I’m looking for closure or some fucking shit that I probably won’t get.
Memories of my sister and me sitting inside that house, both of us so fucking hungry that we hardly had enough energy to stand up, flood my brain. We could always count on Juliet tofeed us, but sometimes, our dad wouldn’t let us go there. He always said she was a nosy old lady, trying to get in the middle of his business. It hadn’t helped matters that she tried to report him to the state multiple times, but he somehow always got away with being an absolute shit parent, though I’m not sure how.
She’d find ways to make sure we were eating enough to survive though. Whether that be hiding things for us in random places or slipping us some cash to run to the store. She, herself, didn’t have much money either. But all her extra went to helping me and Lilly survive our childhood.
That’s why I had to make sure when One Wish helped me, they helped her, too. They made it so I was able to afford the costs to put her in a nursing home that, at the time, was close to Casco Bay College, and now, she’s in one not far from NEU.
Brody O’Brien didn’t just give me life; he made sure that I gave Juliet—the one person I could always count on—a place to live once she couldn’t live alone anymore. And looking back, I know all I would have had to do was ask Brody to help me find my sister, and he would have done that too. But I guess in a way, I’ve been afraid to see her … out of shame because I know that I failed Lilly because as her big brother, I should have kept her safe.
I shouldn’t go up to the door. I know the type of people who visit my dad, and if one of them were to roll up when I was there, who fucking knows what would happen? But I haven’t seen that motherfucker since the day I left for juvie. Because on that day, he was arrested on drug charges—though I heard he had been released before even I did because, of course, he’d ratted someone else out. So, while I don’t want to look at his face, I want to move on with my life and stop leaving pieces of myself here, in this shithole. And I need to look him in the eyes when I tell him that he’s dead to me.
As terrible as it is, inside, there’s a small piece of me that hopes that he’s dead and that I just haven’t gotten the notice yet.
Pushing the door open, I shut it before crossing the road. There are a million voices screaming inside my own head, telling me to turn the fuck around. But I don’t listen. Instead, my dumbass walks right up to the door.
I lift my hand, making a fist, but then stand like a statue with it inches from the door. My brain is sending the message to my hand to fucking knock, but my hand isn’t cooperating.
You’d think I’d take the hint that this is a bad idea and leave. But fuck no. Instead, I wait for a moment or two before, finally, my knuckles smack against the old door.
The second it’s done, my heart begins to pump harder, and the feeling of panic sets into my body, injecting into my bones. Fear paralyzes me, and I remind myself over and over that I’m not the scrawny kid who my dad can beat the shit out of anymore. I’m stronger now. And not scared of anyone—him especially.
I see movement behind the curtain before, slowly, the door cracks open, and a set of familiar eyes peers at me through the crack in the doorway.
