He looks away from me, and his body shakes as he tries his best to hold it together.
“As fucked up as it is, Isla … when I saw you run into that closet—” He stops, and tears fill his eyes. “When I knew that you had pain inside of you and that you weren’t just some spoiled brat with a perfect life … it connected me to you somehow. I can’t explain it. I wish that I could, but it doesn’t make sense.” His eyes finally shift to mine. “I shouldn’t want to see you hurt, but that look in your eye? It bonded me to you.”
The last thing I want to do right now is make this about me. But I also know that everything he just said took so much for him to tell me, and now, I owe him the same.
“My biological dad was there, in the field house, that day,” I whisper shakily. “I’m not supposed to know who he is, but I do. And he looked through me like I wasn’t even there.” I swallow. “I know that’s small compared to what you just admitted, and I don’t want to make this about me, but I also want you to knowthat I’m messed up too.” I sigh, chewing my lip. “You know, as fucked up as it is … your darkness is what draws me in, Hendrix. And I don’t know why.”
A single tear rolls down my cheek as I look at the man before me. He’s not the monster, like so many try to paint him out to be—myself included, not so long ago. He’s just in pain. And I can’t fight how I feel when it comes to him. There’s something between us that pulls us together, and I can’t explain it. All I know is, I want to help him. I really do.
“Is it … is he the reason why you get panic attacks?” He asks the question so gently, like he’s afraid his words will hurt me.
“No,” I start, shaking my head.
If I tell him the truth right now, it will be one of the only times I’ve actually brought it up.
“When I was really little, my mom and I were held hostage by a gunman in a gas station,” I say, my voice low and shaky. “I don’t even really remember it because I was so young, but for some reason …”
“Your mind does?” he guesses, stroking my cheek, and I nod against his touch.
“Yep. If I hear the sound of gunfire or something similar, I just … kind of lose it. Everything fades to dark in an instant.”
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, kissing me delicately. “Thank you for telling me that though.”
“You’re welcome.” The words are barely audible. “Hendrix … would you want to find out where your sister is?” I ask timidly, not knowing how he’ll react.
“Yeah,” he says instantly. “I’ve tried to look her up on social media, and she either doesn’t have any or it’s under a different name. And every time I reach out to the state, it’s a dead end.” He sighs, closing his eyes for a second. “I’m scared I’ll never see her again. And besides Juliet … Lilly is the only family that I have.”
My heart feels like someone is squeezing it, and it’s a fight to keep myself together and not fall apart because I feel so bad for him.
“Would it be okay if I tried to find out where she was?” I whisper. “I know it sounds crazy, but I have a friend who’s going to school to be a private investigator. Collin comes from a long line of detectives.” I pause. “That’s how I learned about my biological father.”
Part of me is regretting telling him instead of just doing it. Because now, if I don’t find anything out, he’ll have to go through disappointment again, and I can’t imagine how hard that is. But there’s an even bigger part of me that wants to take the chance. Because if I could bring Hendrix’s sister back into his life, maybe I could take away a little of his pain.
“Okay,” he whispers. “Thank you, Nineteen.” His voice cracks. “Means a lot that you care.”
Leaning forward, I cup his face, and my lips are on his. A few more tears spring from my eyes, and within seconds, he’s kissing me back roughly with his fingertips digging into the skin on my back after he slides them under my shirt.
Between us, his erection grows, nudging against me and making my panties even more soaked, but instead of rain, this is from desperation.
“Hendrix?” I moan against his lips.
“Yeah, Isla?” he huffs out, breathless.
“Fuck me,” I whisper, desperation engraved in my words. “Fuck me with nothing between us.” I kiss him again. “I have an IUD, and I know we both get tested regularly for the team.”
He kisses me, cupping my nape before he pulls back. “Wouldn’t matter if we didn’t. I haven’t been with anyone since I tasted you in that closet, baby,” he grumbles against my mouth. “I couldn’t even bear the thought of it.”
“What?” I squeak, looking into his eyes with our noses together. “Really?”
His fingertips move to my arms, dragging up and down them.
“Nineteen, I think you underestimate how much control you have on me,” he murmurs, bringing his lips to my neck and kissing my flesh, rolling his tongue along it. “If you need a reminder, just feel my cock right now. It’s standing up straight for you because I fucking want you so bad.”
My mouth waters, and within seconds, I’m reaching behind me, dragging my fingers up and down his length through his briefs. He whimpers against my neck, letting a hiss slip from his lips.
Rain begins to pick back up again, beating off the roof of the truck. Hendrix moves his hand between us and slips his fingers inside my panties, pushing them down. When he slips a finger into my heat, I moan.
“You’re so wet, baby. And I don’t think it’s from the rain either, is it?” He pulls his mouth from my neck, looking at me.
