‘You know nothing.’
I sigh.
‘I’ve seen how much fun it is for you.’
I shut my eyes.
‘Stop acting like you can’t hear me.’
‘Well, then, you stop wanting to have this conversation,’ I plead.
‘Ha, bad luck, we’re already having it.’
‘Tori, I’ve made up my mind.’
So has she, and she’s determined not to let it lie. She sits up slightly.
‘Out of everything that happened between Val and me, there’s one thing I particularly regret,’ she says.
‘Which is?’ I ask, when she doesn’t continue.
‘That I gave up something I enjoyed. For his sake.’
I gulp. ‘You can’t compare the two things.’
‘No, but all the same, I know how it feels. You’re talented, you and Eleanor. You carry this play. Nobody can say otherwise. You belong on the stage . . . With her.’
For a while, I just look at her and don’t speak. I should contradict her. Assure her that I don’t mind. But that would be a lie. I really do miss acting. ‘But I’m hurting you,’ I say quietly.
‘No, Charlie. It only hurt while I didn’t know what it was between us.’
‘And what is it?’
‘You tell me.’
I avoid her eyes. ‘It’s everything.You’reeverything. In every stage kiss, I was thinking of you.’
There’s no more beautiful sight in the world than Tori’s slight blush.
‘If it’s everything, I can deal with that, do you understand? I want you to be happy. And I don’t want to be at the rehearsals without you.’
‘Meaning you’d stay on as assistant director, despite everything?’ My voice is rough.
‘Why wouldn’t I?’
‘I don’t know . . . Because you wouldn’t want to see it. I’d understand.’
‘Charlie, I want to see you. I always want to see you.’
I get goosebumps, and I understand this is it. Love. I know because it would be the same the other way around. Because I’d want to see Tori on the stage. Even if I didn’t like it because it raised negative emotions within me. Jealousy, the feeling of not being enough. Those would be nothing compared to the desire to see her happy.
I nod slowly.
‘Promise me,’ she insists.
‘I’ll speak to Mr Acevedo tomorrow.’
Tori smiles.
