I don’t like it, but I sense that we won’t get anywhere like this. So I let it rest. Maybe I can have a chat with Eleanor and ask her to talk some sense into him. Part of me goes on the defensive at that thought, but I force myself not to listen to it.
Charlie is here. Here with me. Of his own free will. Because he wants to be. I have no reason to be jealous. I have to tell myself that again and again.
‘Are you tired?’ Charlie asks at the exact second I imagine how nice it would be just to shut my eyes now. ‘Did you eat anything? You weren’t at dinner.’
‘Ms Barnett brought some soup up to me,’ I say.
‘Should I get you something else? When we were at the bakery, we could have . . .’
‘Charlie,’ I say quietly. He goes silent. ‘Everything’s perfect.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Want some sleep?’ he asks, meaning should he go.
I wrap my arm more tightly around him. ‘Can you stay?’
‘If you want me to.’
‘Yes,’ I whisper, as he puts his fingers on the back of my neck. I can’t remember the last time I fell asleep in his arms. I only know I’ve missed it. His warm body, his chest, slowly rising and falling beneath my cheek.
We kissed. Today. It was the third time. And this time, everything was right. No secrets, no regrets. No crazy fever dream that I wake from with a start, wanting to cry. Just reality.
SINCLAIR
I didn’t know you could be dizzy with happiness. That you could feel this light and content, despite having slept barely a wink. I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep. I had to listen to Tori’s breathing and take in her smell, feel her warmth and wonder if I was bloody dreaming.
I’m not dreaming. I’m sure of that as I budge over as cautiously as I can and get up just before six. I wish I didn’t have to, but in a few minutes, Ms Barnett will be waking the othersfor the morning run. I’m sure Tori’s been let off for the next wee while, but she might still peek in. By which time I need to be gone.
I actually don’t mind the run, but at times like this, I curse being at this school and having to follow rules that make it impossible to just stay here, lying beside her.
Tori stirs as I stand up and slip on my hoodie. She blinks and I bite my bottom lip.
‘Sorry,’ I whisper, leaning down to her. ‘I have to get out of here. Go back to sleep.’
She groans, which makes me laugh – I’m not sure that she’s quite awake. Then she pulls me closer by the fabric of my jumper. My heart lurches but I just lean down to her face and press my lips gently onto hers. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. Maybe because part of my overtired brain is afraid it just imagined last night. And that today we won’t be Victoria and Charles any more, we’ll be Tori and Sinclair who kiss in secret and never speak of it again.
But then I feel her smile in the kiss, and shut my eyes.
‘Are you OK?’ I ask quietly.
She nods and I kiss her forehead. Tori’s trying not to shut her eyes again as I straighten up. I hope Ms Barnett will force her to stay in bed today and not come down to class.
It’s still quiet in the girls’ wing, but the moment I reach our corridor in the east wing, I run straight into Mr Acevedo. He eyes me without a word, and for a moment, my heart stops.
‘I suppose you were wide awake and went downstairs to get a bit of fresh air?’ he suggests slowly.
‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Yes, exactly.’
‘That’s just as well. Otherwise, I’d have to inform your mother.’
‘I know.’ Shit. I’ll have to be more careful in future. I’d already twigged that Mr Acevedo isn’t as ignorant as we’d like to think.I’m sure he knows that Henry spends more nights in Emma’s bed than his own. But even so, I wouldn’t want him to catch me red-handed.
I feel his eyes on my back as I head to my room. I wish I could turn round and apologize. Not just for breaking the rules, but also about the drama club. No matter that I really didn’t have a choice, it wasn’t cool to quit right in the middle of rehearsals. I’m only too aware of how hard it must be to recast Romeo without causing trouble with a different role. I’d like to know how they’ve solved the problem, but it doesn’t feel right to ask Mr Acevedo. I’d rather bug Gideon about it.
Louis and Eleanor get on well, but I’m afraid they wouldn’t really work as lovers. Besides, he’s such a good Mercutio that it would be a shame if he didn’t play him. And the same for Gideon – he’s the perfect Benvolio. Besides, he only has eyes for Grace. Even I’ve noticed that. Lately, Grace has often looked kind of out of it. I’m afraid she hasn’t really got over breaking up with Henry, and I can understand that.
