Olive’s face is composed and the look in her green eyes is ice cold. ‘Well, no, if you really want to know, no . . . I guess I don’t.’
Her words land like a blow to my heart but I try not to let that show.
‘Why would you say a thing like that?’ I whisper.
‘Because it’s the truth,’ she replies, and her voice breaks on the last word. Because she’s lying. Because I’ve known Olive Henderson for more than six years now and I know, for reasons that make absolutely no sense to me, she always thinks she has to sort everything out for herself. She’s not doing well, anyone can see she’s not, but instead of letting anyone help her, she’s pushing away everyone who means anything to her.
Or else I’m totally wrong about Olive. About our friendship. I don’t know which idea is more painful.
For a moment we stand there motionless, facing each other. Then Olive turns away as people start to walk into the dining room.
Only a few weeks ago, I’d have had no hesitation about following my friend. This time, it takes a few seconds for my legs to start moving as if of their own accord. I don’t know what to say to Olive. She just made it utterly clear that she doesn’t want to talk to me, but I can’t just stand there and act like nothing happened.
I dodge groups of juniors, but by the time I reach the double doors, it’s like Olive’s vanished off the face of the earth. Instead, I run slap into Val.
‘Hey.’ He drops back behind his friends and comes over to me. ‘Forgotten something?’
‘What?’ I mumble, standing still as I really can’t see Olive anywhere in the old cloisters. ‘Sorry, no, I . . . Doesn’t matter.’
‘You look good today,’ Val says, right out of the blue.
I freeze. I’m waiting for him to add something to his compliment likeJoke, ha-ha, you should see your face, but nothing of the kind happens.
‘Thank you,’ I say, so hesitantly that it almost sounds like a question.
‘Wow, I guess accepting compliments isn’t your strong point.’ Val laughs. ‘We’ll have to practise that.’ He puts an arm round me and pulls me into the dining room. My smile is somewhat forced. ‘So, what’s up?’
‘Nothing.’ I get some words out at last. ‘I was on table duty.’
‘Pain in the arse.’ He groans.
‘How was training yesterday?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, good. What are you doing at the weekend? We’ll be down in the Dungeon on Friday night. Want to come?’
He looks so expectantly at me that I nod, but the upper sixth’s party cellar is just about the last place on earth I’d voluntarily spend time. ‘Sure,’ I say anyway, because I don’t want to disappoint Val. I guess I can manage an hour or so with him in the school’s old undercroft before crawling back to bed.
‘Perfect. I’ll message you.’ He lets me go. ‘How did the auditions turn out, by the way? Louis and Eleanor?’
Val doesn’t know? How is that even possible, given the way gossip runs through this school like wildfire? But, sure, he was at rugby training yesterday evening. Maybe he really hasn’t heard. I didn’t see him anywhere at dinner last night.
He turns to face me. ‘Someone else get it? I’d laugh if it was someone from the lower sixth instead of Eleanor.’
‘No, she got the part,’ I say colourlessly.
‘And Romeo?’
I wish I could just shut my eyes and be somewhere else. ‘Sinclair.’
This is ridiculous.
‘Sinclair?’ Val repeats incredulously. Then he bursts into unkind laughter. ‘Shit, they’re two of a kind. Isn’t he into her?’
Val’s question feels like someone’s slipped a very sharp blade between my ribs and is slowly twisting it. I shrug brusquely. ‘No idea.’
‘Ha. Well, maybe he’ll leave you alone now,’ Val says.
I feel kind of sick. If only he knew that that’s exactly what I’m worried about. My best pal and the woman he’s secretly smitten with, playing the most famous lovers in history. They’ll get to spend heaps of time together in the next few months. Get to know each other, rehearse together . . . Shit, they’re going to kiss. My blood runs cold. Sinclair’s going to kiss Eleanor Attenborough, after which I’ll have to applaud with the rest of the school.
