OK, no word of a lie for a change. Even ifboringdoesn’t quite hit the mark. Dire would be closer.
‘So, does that mean you and Eleanor . . .?’ She pauses, as if she wants to give me the chance to finish her sentence. But I don’t, so she continues. ‘You want to kiss her?’
‘Yeah, dunno.’ I avoid her gaze. ‘I mean, she’s hot. But she doesn’t look at me. I’m not kidding myself there.’
‘Maybe she doesn’t know you like her,’ says Tori, slowly.
My mouth is dry. I look at her again. ‘I think she does.’
Neither of us speaks. What’s happening here? Tori doesn’t move.
‘You could ask her out. A date, just the two of you, so you can talk.’
‘Yeah.’ I have to clear my throat – my voice sounds so hoarse. I split the dough and slap a lump onto the work surface in front of me. A little flour whirls through the air. I form little round rolls and feel nothing. ‘It’s not that easy, though. Talking to her.’
‘Maybe you just have to be brave,’ I hear Tori saying.
I nod silently. This is ridiculous.
‘She’ll definitely be auditioning on Wednesday, won’t she?’
I lift my head. ‘Yes, I’m sure she will. Eleanor’s been in the drama club for years.’
Tori pushes her finger over the countertop, leaving a slender trail in the flour. I ignore the shiver that runs down my neck, because I know only too well what that feels like. Her fingers on my skin. Tori drawing patterns on my back or secret messages that I try to decipher as I’m falling asleep.
‘You should have a go too,’ I say. Tori lifts her head. ‘It must be a sign, the auditions being open to lower forms.’
Tori hesitates. ‘Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it.’
‘But?’ I ask, although I can guess. And Tori can tell as much, so she lies.
‘Dunno. I’ve never acted before. And Eleanor’s bound to get Juliet.’
‘There are other roles. The Nurse, or Lady Capulet, for example.’
‘Yeah. I don’t know.’
‘Did Val talk you out of it?’
‘No,’ she snaps back.
He did then. I hate that bastard.
‘You shouldn’t let him influence you. It’s bad enough he’s manipulated his rugby pals so that there are barely any lads in the drama club now.’
‘I don’t let him influence me.’ Tori glares warningly at me.
Why is she sticking up for him? I don’t get it.
‘OK, I’m just saying,’ I mumble. ‘The guy’s so cringy.’
‘You’re so childish. That’s what’s cringy,’ she retorts. ‘Val hasn’t done you any harm, Sinclair.’
Except that he badmouths me and all my friends, yelled at Henry in front of everyone after his rugby accident, even when he was lying on the ground, and kept snaking on us to his stupid uncle back when he was teaching me A-level English. Oh, and then he stole my best friend off me. Yeah, he hasn’t done me the least bit of harm . . .
I press my lips together. Whatever I say now, we’ll end up arguing and I really don’t want that. The fact that Tori reacts so defensively the moment I dare to criticize Valentine tells me everything. And I could live with that if he at least treated her decently. But he’s constantly manipulating her and getting in her head. I don’t know exactly what he’s telling her, but Tori’schanged since she’s been spending so much time with him. Sometimes it seems like she’s a completely different person from the Tori of a year ago. And I know how that sounds. Like I’m the jealous type who wants her all to himself. But it’s not like that. It would be OK, I wouldn’t interfere, if I had the feeling he was good for her. But Tori’s quieter when Valentine’s around. She seems less confident, and you’re meant to blossom when you’re in love, aren’t you? She doesn’t seem happy, and there are times when I don’t recognize my friend, but I can’t tell her that without sounding petty.
The only way I can keep my voice calm is not to look at her as I speak. ‘All I meant was that I think it’d be a shame if you didn’t audition.’
