‘It takes a while. Maybe even longer.’
‘Great.’
‘I don’t know exactly what he said to you, but if it wasn’t nice, that’s on him, not you. And you didn’t deserve it, even if he tried to tell you that you did.’
I force myself to nod. ‘I’m so pissed off,’ I say. ‘With him, but especially with myself. For letting it get that far.’
‘It’s good that you’re angry,’ Eleanor says. ‘But don’t be angry with yourself. Honestly, Tori, be kind to yourself. Please. You have to stop thinking the way he taught you to.’
And suddenly Eleanor’s not a rival any more, she’s an ally. Maybe she was the whole time, but I was so paranoid that I couldn’t see clearly.
‘I’ll try.’ I pause, but I have to say it. She deserves an apology. ‘And I’m sorry, Eleanor. I was jealous of you and Charlie. I hope I didn’t show it.’
‘Jealous?’ She sounds surprised. ‘Because of the role?’
I chew my bottom lip. ‘A bit of everything, I think. I thought Charlie and you . . . I thought there was something between you.’
‘Hold on, didn’t he say anything?’
My blood runs cold. ‘Didn’t he say anything about what?’
‘About me . . . I mean . . .?’ Eleanor trails off. I can’t move. ‘Tori, there was nothing between us,’ she says. ‘We met up before we started rehearsing and talked about how far we wanted to go. I told Sinclair about Sophia. My girlfriend. I asked him not to tell anyone, but I assumed he’d have let you know anyway.’
Girlfriend . . .
Girlfriend as inspoken for, as inShe’s with someone so she didn’t want anything from him. The whole time I’ve been hating her for nothing.
Why am I like this? Why couldn’t I just have trusted Charlie?
‘So he didn’t say anything?’ Eleanor guesses, as I still don’t reply. I shake my head. ‘Well, now you know.’ She gives me a small smile. ‘It looks like Sinclair really can keep a secret. Not that I expected anything less.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—’
‘It’s fine, Tori,’ she interrupts. ‘He only ever had eyes for you.’ She smiles. ‘I know he’s no mysterious alpha-male rugby captain but, believe me, you’d rather be with someone who treats you the way you deserve. Which he does. Mrs Sinclair brought him up right.’
‘She really did,’ I say.
‘Maybe I should have told you sooner. It must have been really awful for you, seeing us on stage together.’
‘It wasn’t great,’ I admit, ‘but the two of you are so good together.’
‘Thank you. He’s really fun to work with. And so are you as assistant director. It beats me how you always keep on top of everything.’
‘Me too.’ I laugh. ‘Is Sophia coming to the opening night?’
‘I didn’t want her to at first, but I think she will, yes. The Leavers’ Ball is the following weekend so it’s worth the trip up for her. She’s a student in London.’ She lowers her voice as we come closer to the theatre.
‘That’s nice. And thank you for keeping asking how I was while I was still seeing Val. It was reassuring to know you were around.’
Eleanor smiles. ‘You’re welcome, Tori,’ she says, slipping through the theatre door ahead of me.
30
TORI
The upper sixth have finished their A levels now, and I’ve never been so aware that I’ve only got one more year at Dunbridge Academy before it’s our turn to be nervously awaiting the results. I’ve never taken much interest in it before, but I’ve just come out of a geography exam and see Eleanor, Louis and a few others from their year I’ve got to know better doing the play. I hear a few scraps of conversation.
‘Val looked really sick during the exams, did you hear?’
