‘I should have let you know,’ I admit. ‘I’m sorry, Val.’
‘Did you get up to anything?’
‘What?’ I give an anxious laugh.
Val’s eyes bore into me. ‘You know what I mean. Did anything happen between you?’
‘No!’ It’s the moment that my feeling of defencelessness tips over into rage. ‘Shit, Val, no. You can believe me on that. We’re friends. I don’t want anything more from Sinclair.’
‘But he wants something from you,’ he hisses. ‘That’s blatantly obvious.’
My throat constricts as I remember Sinclair’s words from Saturday evening.
So, how does it feel . . .?
It feels shite. Because suddenly everything’s so bloody complicated. But Sinclair’s my friend. He doesn’t want anything from me because if he did I’d know about it.
‘Val, I swear there was nothing.’ I stress each word but they practically bounce off Val’s skin. I shake my head gently and give a quiet laugh. ‘Sinclair was steaming and I spent the night in his room because I didn’t want to leave him on his own like that. But he fell asleep instantly. And if you don’t believe me, I’m afraid I don’t know how I can convince you that I’m telling the truth.’
For a moment, Val’s still giving me that death glare, but then his features soften a little. I breathe out quietly and he nods.
‘OK.’ He runs a hand over his face and exhales loudly. ‘Fine, OK, I believe you. You’re right. It’s no basis for a relationship if we’re already fighting over a thing like this.’
I can’t nod: I’m too numb.
No basis.
For a RELATIONSHIP.
‘But do you get where I’m coming from too?’ Val reaches for my hand. When he looks at me, I go weak at the knees. ‘You were suddenly gone, and I had no idea where you were. Half an hour before that, we’d kissed, and then . . . I hate being this jealous but I couldn’t help it. I’m just so fucking unsure of myself around you.’
God . . .
Val’s never said anything like that to me before. It sounds like he’s pretty serious about it. But instead of being glad, I feel panic rising inside me.
‘You’ve known each other so long and I . . .’ He looks down at his toes. ‘I’m scared that I can’t give you what he gives you.’
‘Val,’ I hear myself saying.Think. Say something, Tori. Anything.‘That’s crap, Val, and you know it.’
He looks back at me. ‘Do I?’
‘I hope you do now,’ I say, taking a step towards him. What am I doing?
Val looks at me as I stand on tiptoe and give him a quick kiss. Ikisshim. Just like that, in broad daylight, right there in the school corridor. Because it feels like I have to do it to prove to him that I’m serious about us. About him. Which I am, aren’t I?
Val holds me tight when I want to pull away. He smiles, but there’s something in his eyes that scares me.
‘Have you spoken to your parents?’ he asks.
‘About the dinner?’ I wait for him to nod. ‘Not yet.’
‘Let me know. If you don’t come, I need an excuse. I’ll never get through it without you.’
‘I will,’ I promise, at the second the bell goes for the first period. I glance over my shoulder, and when I look back to Val, he lifts up my head with two fingers, to kiss me.
Butterflies in my stomach. Pins and needles in my skin. He’s kissing me like it’s the most natural thing in the world. And, yeah, it’s hot. Valentine Ward is kissing me in school hallways and why can’t I just enjoy it?
‘Promise me that next time you won’t just piss off without telling me first,’ he insists.
