She kisses me, and I forget what I’d been going to say. Nothing else matters, and there’s something so beautiful about that.
Emma closes her eyes as I pull myself out of her and lower her carefully until her feet touch the floor. She draws me closer but stops in midmovement as I push my hand between her legs. Her pupils widen almost imperceptibly as I look at her. She bites her bottom lip gently, and I feel her twitch as I touch her with two fingers. I kiss her mouth and move my hand.
“Tell me if it’s good like this,” I whisper into her side and feel her get goose bumps.
“You don’t have to,” she murmurs and falls silent as I stop.
“I don’t have to, or I shouldn’t?”
There’s just a look, then Emma’s hand on mine. She increases the pressure and I understand. We kiss as I touch her. I only relax when she gives that quiet groan again, and I drop to my knees in front of her.
Emma
Henry on his knees in front of me and with his mouth between my legs is more than I would ever have thought possible. It wasincredible enough feeling him inside me, but this is something else. It’s the throbbing heat in my belly and the certainty that I could come like this. My knees start to tremble, I feel his hands on the backs of my thighs, and I have the feeling my legs might give way beneath me at any moment... It’s ridiculous that I’m thinking about that of all things. I have to tense my stomach muscles because it’s too much, but the trembling doesn’t stop. Henry doesn’t stop, and it’s almost more than I can bear. He finds the right position, the right pressure, he stays there until I fall apart under his hands and his mouth and, oh, God, his tongue.
I claw my fingers into his hair, he digs his fingers into my skin. I’ve never been so hot. Maybe I’ll burn up into nothing right here and now, beneath his hands, but at least it would’ve been worth it.
My head falls back, my eyes close. A sound escapes me, one I’ve never heard myself make before, and it makes Henry shiver. It’s a wave flowing through my body from the parting of my hair to the tips of my toes, until my legs won’t hold me anymore and I fall to my knees in front of Henry. My body is soft, my muscles have stopped working. They’ve simply dissolved into thin air, but it’s all right.
Henry pulls me to him, I sink onto the tiles in front of him. He kisses me. I can taste myself and him, and it’s incredible. My head is empty, I can’t think. Only Henry. Henry everywhere. Henry in my head, Henry in my mouth, against my stomach, on my skin.
He pulls himself up a little, to turn on the water. I keep my eyes closed and lean back my head. The warm droplets fall ontomy face. The tiled floor is cold—I’m only just noticing that again. We’re in the male showers, it was our first time, and it’s perfect. It really is pretty perfect.
Once we’ve showered, Henry pulls a change of clothes from his locker for each of us. I may never understand what it is about wearing a sweatshirt that belongs to someone you like. It’s soft and way too big. It smells a little of laundry detergent and a lot of Henry. On the way to his wing, I’m relatively certain that I’ll never be able to take it off, but then I’m lying next to him in his bed, and everything is so cuddly and warm. Henry pulls the hood of his sweatshirt up around my face and ties the drawstrings under my chin. I let him because he’s smiling so much as he does it, and then he bends down to kiss me. I’m seriously smitten with him. Shit.
I don’t think a thing like this with Henry happens that often. It doesn’t compare with anything. When Noah and I got together, it just kind of happened. We didn’t talk all that much. At some stage, Isi started making jokes until everyone knew we fancied each other. There was this theme party put on by that year’s Abitur class, and it was the first time I’d drunk alcohol, and Noah kissed me. And then it was kind of a thing, Emma and Noah, for quite a while. It feels like a lifetime away, but I remember how much it hurt when it was suddenly over. I look at Henry and wonder what it must be like for something old to come to an end and something new to begin. All in such a short time. I guess it’s exhausting.
“What’s up?” he asks quietly.
“Do you miss Grace?” I ask.
“Em...” Henry hesitates.
Maybe it’s inappropriate to bring up the subject of his ex-girlfriend right after we’ve first had sex. I don’t know.
“I’m just wondering,” I mumble. “I want us to be able to talk about anything.”
Henry’s eyes soften. “I want that too.”
“You see.”
“And yes. I do miss her somehow.”
“You were together a long time.”
Henry nods. “Although I don’t know if ‘miss’ is the right word. But I think about her a lot and hope she’s OK. I never wanted to hurt her.”
“I’m sure she knows that.”
“Probably. But it doesn’t change anything about what I did.”
“So long as you didn’t break up with her over WhatsApp, I’m sure it’s not too bad,” I murmur, and maybe that’s mean of me, but I can’t help my cynical side taking over when I remember how that felt.
“Is that what Noah did?” asks Henry.
“Yeah, it was pretty shitty.”
“Have you seen anything else of him and your friend?”
