When she stopped, unable to say Richard’s name, Joan gave a tentative smile. “Well, I amnotsorry that I’m married to Tristan. And that is largely due to the confidence and encouragementyougave me. I will be forever grateful to you for that.”
Evangeline let out her breath. “It delights me beyond words to hear it. I wish you and Burke every happiness, my dear.”
Glowing again, Joan nodded. “I think we shall be happy. He does love me. You were right about that. He had the most difficult time admitting it, but once I told him thatIlovehim, he told me—he said he hadn’t much experience at being loved, but that he’s absolutely mad for me. Which suits me perfectly, because”—her face was bright pink now as she lowered her voice—“I really am out of my head for him. He showed me things I didn’t think a man could—” She stopped abruptly. “Well, we’re both very,veryhappy things have turned out this way.”
Evangeline’s heart gave a hard throb. “That brings me more joy than you can imagine, my dear.”
Joan beamed. “Might I ask a favor of you?”
“Of course!” Her lips trembled in a shaky smile. “Anything.”
Joan blushed again. “Would you convey our apologies to Sir Richard as well? I don’t have the nerve to call upon him myself, and Tristan said he won’t go near...” She paused. “I believe Sir Richard threatened to shoot him, and he’s not inclined to risk it.”
And again she could barely breathe. “Alas,” she said with a strained smile. “Sir Richard and I are... Well, I don’t expect to see him again.”
Joan’s face blanked. “Oh no! Why? Not—not because of us?”
Evangeline flipped one hand and tried to speak lightly. “No, no, don’t concern yourself with it.”
Dismay filled her niece’s expression. “Oh, Aunt. No! You mustn’t blame him for my actions!”
“Don’t be silly,” she tried to reply, but her voice cracked.
Joan jumped up. “It wasmyfault. It’s because of the dance, isn’t it? I didn’t know what Tristan would propose, when I encouraged you to dance with Sir Richard, but Ididwant you to be happy. And Sir Richard had no idea I would be so impulsive and foolish! He is desperately in love with you, and I...” She bit her lip, looking as if she might cry. “I only thought you deserved a man who loves you. I still think it—even more so!—after hearing how dreadful Cunningham and Courtenay were. Oh, please don’t say that I’ve ruined your happiness, when you have helped me to find mine!”
She stood and took Joan’s hands in hers. “Nonsense. Nothing of the sort.” She hesitated. “I know you meant no harm. I truly do. Things are... complicated, between Sir Richard and me. Don’t blame yourself for my little frets.”
Joan’s eyes were wet, but she gripped Evangeline’s hands fiercely. “It is not a little fret. I shall never forget how certain I was that I would never find someone who loved me, someone I could love with my entire heart and soul.”
“But you have.” She squeezed Joan’s hands and forced a smile. “To my immense joy.”
“And so have you,” replied Joan, her chin set stubbornly. “I know you have. I saw you with him, and I saw his face when he spoke of you. Headoresyou, Aunt Evangeline.”
Evangeline raised her eyes to the ceiling to stop the moisture in her own eyes from becoming tears. She disengaged her hands and turned away, touching her hair to hide her face. “As romantic as it sounds, that isn’t always enough to sweep aside every obstacle.”
Joan came around to face her again. “But it is significant enough that you shouldn’t be so quick to discard it.”
“My dear, please don’t trouble yourself?—”
“Don’tsay I am too young to understand.” Joan hesitated. “I stood for years at the side of every ballroom and drawing room, knowing that no man there cared to speak to me or dance with me, let alone marry me. When you asked if we were trying to bring Tristan up to scratch, I denied it because I didn’t think it was possible, for me... with him. But Iwantedit to be true, even then. In fact, I—I think that alone made me so rash. It seemed like a dream, when Tristan said he wanted to—” She blushed scarlet. “And he was reckless, too, but he’s a man and mistakes don’t hurt men as much, even though he also didn’t mean to cause trouble. He told me that he meant to ask Papa for my hand in marriage even before we— Well. He didn’t know how it would go wrong.” She searched Evangeline’s face. “Is it possible,” she asked hesitantly, “that Sir Richard was the same? You and Mama told me things are different for a woman...”
Evangeline held up one hand to stop her. “Yes. It always is.”
Her niece’s face cleared, misunderstanding. “Then you can forgive him,” she said. “If you can forgiveme, who did far worse, you must see that he deserves forgiveness, too.”
Evangeline couldn’t speak, but she made herself smile. It felt stiff and unnatural, but it seemed to reassure Joan. She walked with Evangeline to the door. Outside a handsome carriage waited, gleaming black with red wheels. It would be Burke’s, of course, not George’s. Burke, who had not objected to Joan coming to see the wicked Lady Courtenay. Who made her niece radiant with happiness. Who sent his own apologies.
Joan paused to embrace her one last time. “Give Sir Richard another chance,” she whispered. “To make me feel better, if not for yourself, even though I think it will be tremendously good for you, too. Will you?”
Evangeline made herself smile, without nodding. That seemed to be enough for Joan. She gave Evangeline a smile, then hurried to her carriage and was helped in by the waiting footman.
Evangeline lifted her hand in good-bye as the carriage drove off, Joan leaning out the window and waving back, still beaming. Her heart gave a little sigh. She’d thought, several weeks ago, that young Burke had all the hallmarks of a promising husband. It was reassuring that she hadn’t been completely wrong about that.
But Richard... Oh, Richard. She could hardly bear to think of what she had said to him.
Once again, she had ruined everything.
Chapter 35
