I’m not typically a confrontational person, so facing a six-foot-six man head-on has taken a lot out of me, and the adrenaline rush is starting to wear off, leaving me further depleted.
But I have to get through the rest of the night before I can finally curl into bed and get some sleep.
In the meantime, I know I’m going to be sitting in a room with the man who has done … unspeakable things to me, things I begged for, all while I sit next to my dad. Myworlds are colliding, and while I was hoping this day would come, I definitely didn’t expect it to happen like this.
Smoothing my dress down my torso and fixing the slit, I take a few deep breaths.
I’ve been gone for too long; my dad is going to start to worry if I don’t get back shortly.
I contemplate running from the party altogether and going home to Freddie, but I can’t. I told my dad I’d be here for him, and I’m not letting Bates ruin that.
A vision flashes in my mind—of just a few minutes ago, when Bates’s hand was between my legs, discovering my lack of underwear.
“No panties? With a thigh-high slit in your dress? My dirty little slut.”
I could hear it then—how clearly and obviously it’d beenhimall along. The depth in his voice, the familiar rasp that curled around my body, claiming me.
How have I been so fucking naive? How many times have I talked to just Bates without realizing he was the same man who’d been watching me, touching me … fucking me? How have I been such an idiot?
My anger comes from self-hatred as much as anything else. I should’ve figured it out sooner, without the help of a clue dropped in my closet.
A groan rumbles through the room as I cringe at my own behavior.
I’mtotallythe girl in every movie who somehow can’t tell the difference between a guy and his alternate persona because of a simple pair of glasses.
Granted, Bates did a good job deceiving me. Alteringhis in-person voice compared to my masked man, not giving away information, making me wear a blindfold when he …
God, the things I let this man do to me unabashedly.
Now I have to go sit in a room with him and a couple hundred other people and pretend that he hasn’t defiled me in more ways than I can count.
But first, I need to make a pit stop to the bathroom and clean myself up a bit so I don’t leave any marks on my gown when I sit down.
For the record, my lack of panties wasn’t because of him or what he might do. I didn’t wear them because they stuck out like a sore thumb beneath the delicate satin, no matter what style I tried on.
I force another couple deep breaths into my lungs before leaving the training room, stopping at the restroom, and heading back to the event. Thankfully, the flush on my skin isn’t as visible as I worried it would be.
My dad smiles at me from across the room when I walk in, heading straight to the table, ignoring the sensation tingling across my shoulders.
He’s watching me. I can feel it deeply in my bones. But I don’t give him the satisfaction of meeting my eyes. He can sit and torture himself with this for a bit, trying to steal glances from me while I deny him the pleasure.
“You okay?” my dad asks as I sit on the chair next to him at the large round table.
I nod, smiling big enough to sell my lie. “Yeah. I got a little warm, so I just took a second to cool off.”
His eyebrows pinch with concern. “Feeling better now?”
I thought I would feel better after confronting Bates, but if anything, I feel more confused than before.
“Much.” I lie.
He sits up taller, a smile pulled across his face. “Good.”
My dad has never been a man of many words to anyone in the world, aside from me. I’ve watched him coach hockey teams my entire life. He’s the stoic type on the bench, no reactions or shouting unless exuberantly permitted.
But to me, he was a joyful and proud girl dad. We had tea parties and dress-up fashion shows. When I was little, I did his makeup more times than I can count. He’s always shown me what love should look like. Unconditional. Soul-deep. Unwavering. That’s exactly who he is as a dad and how I imagine he was as a partner.
He’s given me everything I needed to succeed at life, and he’s always put me first, which is why I’ve taken his rules so seriously all these years. The least I can do for him is respect his wishes.
