Two things can be true at once. Your wife can love you beyond reason and still want to murder you. I know this because mine is glaring at me like she'd set me on fire if she weren't currently pregnant with my kid, caught dick-handed with my cock in her mouth.
In my defense…I tried to warn her that this would happen. She didn't listen.
"There's a reporter behind me right now, isn't there?" she asks.
"Yep."
"He has a camera, doesn't he?"
"Afraid so."
"I swear to God, Austin," she whispers, her face draining of color. "If you tell me that my ass is out, I'm murdering you."
I shove my dick back into my pants, willing the hard bastard to go down. No dice.
"Fix it," Serena hisses at me. "Fix it right now!"
"Hey!" I shout at the reporter, already stumbling down the hall toward him.
He isn't waiting around to be caught, though. He leaps backward like a fucking ninja, still snapping photos.
Serena is actually going to murder me. My daughter's birth announcement and my death announcement will be printed in the same paper.
Jesus Christ.
I round the corner just in time to see Dace and Lucas at the top of the stairs, flanking the reporter. All three are doubled over, howling so loud the sound rattles the banister. Dace's face is red, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.
"You should see your face right now," he wheezes, holding his ribs. "Holy shit, I've never seen anyone look that scared."
I stare at the reporter, already bracing for the fact that my cock is about to break the internet. Again.
The guy shrugs, then flips his camera around so I can see the screen. There's nothing. No video, no photos. Just a blank display.
"What the fuck?"
"Relax, Hawkes. There are no photos. Your wife is pregnant. She would fucking kill us all."
"What the fuck?" I repeat again. What else am I supposed to say? It seems fucking relevant. Sue me.
Lucas shakes his head, wiping at his eyes. "Every year. Every fucking year, you end up in that hallway, man. You gotta learn to keep it in your pants."
"Yeah, that's not happening. Have you seen my wife?" I scrub a hand down my face, trying to get my heart rate under control. "Just so we're clear…there are no photos?"
"Not this year," Dace says, chuckling.
I sag against the wall. Maybe I will survive this pregnancy, after all.
"Austin!" Serena growls from down the hall. "I swear to God, I'm never having sex with you again!"
Well, shit. Maybe not.
I flip Dace and Lucas off before hurrying back down the hallway toward her. She's leaning against the wall, her face bright red.
"Is my ass going to be on the internet again?"
"No."
"Did you punch a reporter?"
