"I don't have all the answers. I'm trying to remember that."
Patricia approaches me after the meeting. "That was different."
"I'm working on different."
She studies my face. "It shows."
***
My phone buzzes mid-week.
Trevor:Bailey asked about you again.
My heart stops. I read the message three times.
Start to type a response. Delete it. Try again. Delete that too.
Finally:How is she?
Trevor:Tired. Pregnant. Still hurt. But curious.
Me: Tell her... tell her I'm doing the work. That's all.
Trevor:She knows. Gretchen told her about the scholarship.
I sit with that information. Bailey knows I'm making changes. Watching from a distance. Checking if I'm serious.
Trevor:Don't fuck this up, Graves.
Me: Trying not to.
Week 11, Day 3
Afraid "curious" doesn't mean forgiveness. Afraid it means she's checking if I'm serious before shutting the door forever. Trevor says she knows about the scholarship. She knows I'm trying. That has to be enough for now.
***
"I want to explore something uncomfortable," Dr. Chen says in session nineteen.
I brace myself. "Okay."
"What if Bailey never forgives you?"
"She will. She has to—"
"But what if she doesn't? What if she decides co-parenting is the best she can offer?"
Panic floods my chest. "I can't... I need her to—"
"Need her to what?"
"To see that I've changed. To give me another chance."
"Why?"
"Because I love her. Because I can't lose her."
Dr. Chen's voice is gentle but firm. "Daniel, why are you here? Really."
