"I want to die."
The words hang in the air between us. Heavy. Final.
"I mean it." I meet her eyes, needing her to understand.
"You don't mean that."
"Don't I?" A broken laugh escapes me. "What's left, Marina? What's the fucking point? I'm trapped in a world I don't understand, married to a man who sees me as an obligation, with a target on my back from every crime family in Chicago."
Marina's hands cup my face, forcing me to look at her. "You're Sophia fucking Torrino. You survived your mom's cancer. You survived Francesco. You'll survive this too."
"I don't want to survive anymore." The tears come harder now, choking me. "I'm so tired of surviving. Of being strong. Of pretending everything's okay when it's not. When it's never going to be okay again."
"Sophia—"
"Once and for all, Marina. I just want it to stop hurting."
Marina's grip on my face tightens. "No. This is not happening. You hear me? This is not fucking happening."
"Marina—"
"No!" She shakes me slightly. "You're stronger than this, Sophia. You've always been stronger than this."
I try to pull away but she won't let go.
"What did you actually see?" Her voice drops, urgent but steady. "Tell me exactly what you saw."
"I told you?—"
"No, you told me your interpretation. What did you actually see through that keyhole?"
My breath hitches. "He had her against the wall."
"Okay. And?"
"His hands were... he was holding her."
"Holding her how? Like a lover? Or like?—"
"I don't know!" The admission burns my throat. "I don't know, okay? I saw them together and I ran."
Marina's eyes search mine. "So they could have been fighting. He could have been threatening her."
Hope tries to spark in my chest. I crush it immediately.
"Don't." I shake my head violently. "Don't make me hope. I can't... if I let myself hope and it's exactly what I think it is, I'll shatter completely."
"Sophia—"
"I'm so tired, Marina." The words pour out, unstoppable now. "I'm so fucking tired of all of it. Of being scared. Of not knowing who to trust. Of loving someone who might not love me back. Of this whole fucking world where people kill each other over territory and money and pride."
My voice rises with each word.
"I'm tired of being strong!" I'm shouting now, my throat raw. "I'm tired of pretending I can handle this! I'm tired of acting like I belong in their world when I don't! When I never will!"
"Then scream." Marina releases my face and stands up. "Scream it out."
"What?"
