Now, when I close my eyes, I see her in that guy’s arms. That guy who I’ve since learned was Baxter the bastard. He broke her heart, and yet, when he reappears, she goes back to him?
This is worse than when I saw her with Donovan, and Ifeel worse than I felt that night. I’m too old to be acting like a jealous punk. I’m too old to be fighting these feelings of jealousy. I don’tlikethese feelings of jealousy.
I need to step back and think about this. I’ve been following my heart, my emotions, my sister’s visions… and they’ve led me to the same place I was before, a place I swore I’d never be. Only this time it’s worse.
She’s been blowing up my phone, but I can’t talk to her yet. My emotions are out of control, and I need to get my head straight. I need to talk to my dad.
Coach said I could take an extra day after our last game on Sunday and fly to Eureka. I’ll miss a practice, but with the way I’ve been playing, I’ve earned a personal day.
I just have to get through this weekend.
Before facing off against Tampa on their home turf, I look up at the camera and blow a kiss to my baby girl. That hasn’t changed.
My play also hasn’t changed. I’ve been in this position before, hurting and needing to do whatever it took to numb the pain. I played hard and earned my spot on this team, and I’m not letting anybody down.
Maverick and I work the puck down the ice, trying out a new Figure Z formation we’ve been practicing. He passes it to me, and I pass it to Hancock, skating to the outside and holding off the defenseman as Mav flies forward for the final pass, which he shoots past the goalie for a score.
We don’t have as many fans in this part of the country, but we can still hear our side going wild with air horns and chants.
Again, we’re taking it all the way. Thunder’s number 52 is coming at me hard, but I’m in no mood to deal with him. Mav sends a pass my way, and before I can grab it with my stick, he slams me into the boards.
Forgetting the play, I grab him by the pads and spin him into the wall, and it’s on. The guys are all around us, and fists fly. The linemen allow it for a bit, then 52 and I are each sent to our teams’ boxes for a two-minute penalty.
I kick the side of the door when I enter, before sitting on the bench. Anger surges in my veins, and I know it’s really about her. All of it is about her.
Every player is that fucking Baxter, and if 52 gets in my way again, I’m likely to draw blood.
While I wait, Mav and Gav do one of their signature plays, intercepted by the Thunder defenseman. The guys are right. Tampa knows every move in our arsenal. It’s time to start working on some new plays.
I watch them, strategizing options we can try on in practice. It distracts my mind, and my anger is finally cooling off when it’s time for me to get back in the game.
Donovan skates up to me as soon as I’m out, putting his large hand on my shoulder pads. “Leave 52 to me. Focus on scoring. They don’t see you coming.”
My jaw is tight, but I nod. He’s right. I scored a hat trick back home because Atlanta didn’t know what to do with me yet. The only thing they do know is 52 throws me off, but our team captain is blocking him now.
Mav skates up to me, speaking in my ear. “Gav’s going for the pinch. He’ll send it to you this time.”
I nod, turning and making eye contact with our defenseman. “I’m ready.”
It’s a play they usually complete together, but we’re all thinking on our feet this game, looking for ways to mix it up.
Gav’s play is successful, and he gets the puck to me. I’m moving fast in the direction of our goal when the Thunder defenseman moves in for the block. At the last second, I pass it to Sax, turning and moving away from the guy.
I’m beside the net when I see the puck fly and bounce off the goal. We keep at it, playing faster through each period. Tonight, we only score one point to the Thunder’s two. It’s another barn burner, but this time Tampa takes home the victory.
We head to Nashville next to play the Terminators. They’re a decent team, although not quite on our level. Still, it’s a fast, physical match, and we come out with another win.
By the end of the weekend, the team is amped up and closer than ever. We’re starting to gel, and I’m finding that sense of home and family I had with my old team in South Carolina.
On my way to the airport, I check in with Maddie. Seeing her little face soothes the ache in my chest, and I remember a time when it was just me and her and Heather and hockey. It was all so simple then. I hadn’t complicated my life by falling in love.
“You need to come home soon, Daddy,” she says, her brown eyes so serious. “Something’s wrong with Miss Gina, and you always make her smile. She needs you.”
I can’t answer her. I only tell her I’ll see her at dinner Monday, and after we disconnect, I get the text I knew would be coming from my sister.
Heather
What happened? Gina said nothing’s going on, but I’m not dumb. Why are you going to Eureka?
