“I went on a binge, and when I came around, I was sleeping in a park in another city. I didn’t know where I was.” He winces, studying his hands. “That was my rock-bottom, I guess. I knew I had to get myself clean or I might not make it.”
Frowning, I scratch my eyebrow trying to figure out the nicest way to say I’m glad he’s okay, and I really have moved on. Thanks for letting me know. See ya.
“Well… that’s really awful.” I give him a sympathetic tone. “I’m glad you told me, I guess, rather than letting me think it was something I did.”
“You didn’t do anything. You were great. I really enjoyed spending time with you and all the dogs and everything.” He shook his head. “I was obsessed.”
“You were kind of a love-bomber.” I think about all the nonstop dates… which I had thought was about getting in my pants. Maybe it was?
Crossing his arms, he looks down. “Sleeping with you was so good. It was so?—”
“That’s okay.” I cut him off. “We don’t have to relive it.”
“Right.” He nods. “Sorry. Ahh… part of my recovery is to find people I’ve hurt and try to make amends. It’s like step nine? So I was trying to see if there’s some way I can make it up to you that doesn’t cause harm to you or to anyone else.”
My brows rise, and I straighten. “That’s not really necessary.”
“It would help me a lot if you’d let me do something.”
I’m so involved with our conversation, I only barely notice the screams and air-horns going off behind me in the arena. Music plays, and the game has probably ended.
“Honestly, there isn’t anything. I mean, how do you make up for a broken heart?”
His eyes widen. “I broke your heart?”
As I think about the words, I think about how my heart has been the more I’ve gotten to know Owen.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I only thought you broke my heart. The truth is, I’ve learned a lot about love in the past few months, and it was really more the confusion and the self-doubt that hurt me. After you ghosted, I mean.”
“I ghosted you,” he nods, looking down again. “Man, that was a shitty thing to do.”
“Yeah.” I nod, looking down as well.
I’m not about to let him off the hook for it. It was really shitty, and I felt like shit for a long time.
“It made it hard for me to trust people,” I add.
His eyes squeeze shut, and he rubs his fingers over them. “Dang. How do I make amends for that?”
Inhaling deeply, I straighten, considering the question. “You know, just coming here and telling me all of this… it doesn’t turn back the clock, but I can let it go now. I don’t have to wonder why or what happened anymore. That’s amends.”
“Is it?” He frowns, looking up at me. “It doesn’t feel like enough. Like maybe you should punch me in the face or something.”
A laugh breaks from my throat, and I shake my head. “I think that would violate the ‘no harm’ part of the step.”
He huffs a laugh, nodding. “I always wondered what that meant. I guess it means I shouldn’t allow you to beat me to death.”
“Trust me, I imagined hitting you in the head with a frying pan several times.”
“You’re a really great girl, Gina.” He holds out both hands. “Would a hug be a way to make amends?”
My lips press into a half-smile, and I shrug. “Sure, why not?”
Stepping forward, I put my arms around his waist, and he wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me flush against his torso. He squeezes, making silly grunting noises, and I laugh. I try to step back, but he holds me tighter.
“What is this? One of those thirty-second hugs?” I quip, not really wanting to hug him anymore.
My hands move to his waist in more of a pushing back fashion, and he finally relaxes his squeeze. “You always smell so good… like cherries.”
