“Because it’s a disease that needs to be treated?”
“Yes,” Leon said, glancing at James, who was staring very intently at the coffee maker. “Of course, but that’s what I’m saying. ADHD isn’t a disease–”
“No, it’s a disorder–or at least, I’m pretty sure that’s what that last D stands for,” she said, getting a thoughtful look on her face for a moment before waving her hand in the air. “Yes, I’m sure that’s what it is.” She took a sip of coffee and then continued, “As I was saying, disorders have symptoms, which you can manage with treatment and mitigation strategies. Just like I managed my cancer.”
Leon thought there might be some jumps in logic happening, but he didn’t want to argue. “Okay, I hear you on that, but…you don’t think it’s…”
Damn. Any word he could think to describe his mixed-up feelings about taking medication for his ADHD dried on his tongue as he imagined looking at Ms. Bigley and saying the same about her cancer medicine.
“It’s what, dear? Weak or somehow shameful? Getting help is never weak. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.”
Leon nodded slowly, because yes, those had been two of the words floating around his head. “Do you think it’s risky? Given everything with my mam and also just medication in general?”
She took a little longer to answer this time. “I think that taking any medication can be risky, but leaving a disorder that is clearly causing you distress untreated can also be risky to your mental and possibly even your physical health. I believe medicine can be helpful, and if it doesn’t turn out to be what you need, I know you’ll find something that works for you. This is just one avenue to try, but in my very humble opinion, I think it’s worth a shot.If it doesn’t work, at least you’ll know and can try something else.”
James returned to the table with Leon’s coffee, and when he sat down, he scooted his chair a little closer to Leon. “Does Aspen take medication for their ADHD?”
Leon nodded. “Yeah, we’ve sort of talked about it in passing.”
“The first time I took my chemo pill, James sat with me the entire day to help with side effects. Would your friend Aspen be willing to sit with you for a little while?”
James beamed at his mom. “I bet they would!” He turned and grabbed Leon’s hand, threading their fingers together on top of the scuffed wooden table. “You could do it on one of your work-from-home days.”
With two sets of hopeful blue eyes resting heavily on Leon’s shoulders, he texted the group chat. Aspen was overeager, as always, and Noah was supportive, also as per usual.
It took a little bit of organizing, but the following Wednesday, he found himself opening his front door to Aspen, who was carrying a very large tote bag.
“I come bearing gifts!” Aspen said as they swept into Leon’s apartment.
He’d managed to pick up the mess that somehow accumulated in his apartment the second James left eachSunday morning. This week, James had left early to pick up sandwiches on his way home, so the mess had a few extra hours to accumulate.
As he took Aspen’s coat, he noticed a cup sitting on his entryway table, and one of Yarmen’s toys was wedged under the door to his front hall closet.
He sighed before turning back to Aspen, who had made themself at home on Leon’s couch. Yarmen was peering curiously at Aspen as they unpacked their bag onto the coffee table.
“What gifts?” Leon asked, walking over to see a water bottle labeled with hours, chips, marshmallows, gummy bears, drinkable soup, and one of those pods for flavoring water.
“It’s sort of like an ADHD survival kit. You may use everything or nothing, but it can’t hurt to have it.”
“Do you want to explain any of this, or do I have to guess?” Leon asked, not sure where this grouchy mood was coming from.
Oh yeah, probably from his inability to sleep the past few nights.
Aspen gazed steadily at him; one eyebrow raised ever so slightly in the air.
“Sorry. I’m kind of anxious about this,” Leon said, sitting down next to Aspen on the couch.
Aspen deposited Yarmen on Leon’s lap and left their hand resting on Leon’s knee. “I know, honey, that’s why I’m here.”
Leon nodded, and Aspen kept their hand on him as they turned to the coffee table. “So, my experience with ADHD meds is they can really mess with my appetite as well as what foods I want to and can stand to eat. So, I brought you a few options. It's also more important than ever to stay hydrated, and drinking water regularly can help with any dry mouth you may or may not get. Did you eat breakfast this morning like I suggested?”
Leon nodded again, and after he gave Yarmen one long pet from head to tail, Yarmen jumped off his lap and sauntered across the couch. Leon’s hand fell onto his leg, and he allowed just his pinky to touch Aspen’s. It sometimes took him a while to warm up to folks. Aspen was the kind of friend who would probably climb onto his lap if he let them. He didn’t think he’d ever get to that point, but he and James had been physically affectionate even before Leon began developing feelings for him. It would be nice to have other friends he could, quite literally, lean on.
“Aside from food and water, the other important thing for your first time—but potentially every day after that, depending on how your pills affect you—is that you may want to have whatever you’re going to work on for the day ready to go. The first few times I took them, it was helpful to sit down and start whatever I was working on within the first thirty minutes or so after taking the meds. Otherwise, I would accidentally hyperfocus on something I didn’t mean to.”
“My therapist said something similar.” Leon pitched his voice up to try to match Caden’s tenor. “He said: ‘Everyone has their own experience based on what medicine they’re prescribed and how their body processes them, but this is some universal advice you can try,’ or whatever.”
Aspen snorted. “Exactly. So, hand me your phone,” Aspen said, holding out their hand.
