“For someone so small, you’re unbelievably annoying,” Leon grunted, accepting the coat and angrily shoving his arms in the holes.
“I think my shortness actually concentrates the annoying energy,” Aspen said with a smirk. “Or at least, that’s what Noah says.”
Leon had a retort ready, something about how unlucky Noah was to be stuck with someone like Aspen, but he knew he didn’t mean it. That was the kind of shit he would say when he was a kid and would get him into fistfights behind the bleachers and in the corner of the school yard.
Instead of all the nasty things his brain was supplying him with, he decided to “lead with curiosity,” or whatever the fuck it was Caden always said to him. “Can you crash out but not from meds?”
Aspen’s smirk turned contemplative. “Hmm…I think so, yeah. If you’re overstimulated, understimulated, or sometimes just because. ADHD affects your brain’s ability to regulate emotions. It’s why the stereotype is a young boy running around and being disruptive in classrooms.”
Well, that had pretty much been Leon to a T growing up, but as he’d gotten older, everyone around him had chalked it up to him acting out because of his shitty home life. That sure as hell hadn’t helped the matter, but maybe there had been more to it than that.
“Oh,” was all he said, and Aspen nodded like that was good enough and turned to head out of Leon’s apartment.
It took four blocks of walking before Leon felt like speaking again.
“This sucks,” he said.
Aspen bumped their shoulder against him. With their height difference, they ended up hitting his bicep, and suddenly, Leon was horribly aware of the absence of his boyfriend.
“Can I call James?”
“Of course, hon. I’ll probably check in with Noah and see what he wants to do for dinner.”
They both pulled out their phones, and Leon quickened his pace a few steps so they wouldn’t bother each other.
James picked up on the second ring. “Hey, baby! How did it go?” he asked, and Leon had the absurd urge to cry again.
“It… I don’t know,” Leon said.
He scrubbed at his eyes so they wouldn’t be tempted to water again. He hated crying. It wasn't that he was worried about it being “girly” or whatever. He was way too old for that shit. He just didn’t like how out of control it made him feel, with very few positive results. He’d cried a lot as a kid, and it had never helped. Didn’t help much as an adult either.
“Oh, that’s okay. I imagine the first day is probably a lot,” James said, and Leon nodded, even though obviously James couldn’t see him. “Is Aspen still with you?”
“Yeah,” Leon said, but his voice cracked, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah, they’ve been here the whole day. I think I kind of crashed a bit, so we’re on a walk and I…wanted to hear your voice.”
James’ silence was really not what Leon had been going for, so he rushed to fill it. “I spent the morning hyper-fixating on getting Yarmen a bandana. I thought maybe a little color in the apartment would be nice, and for some reason I guess my brain–or the meds or some fucked up combination of the two–decided that meant I should decorate my cat.”
He let out a loud laugh at how absurd that sounded now.
“I think that sounds really sweet,” James said, his voice quiet. “I’ve never seen him in a bandana. Does he like them?”
“He puts up with them for me,” Leon said, thinking about how much his best friend and boyfriend also put up with.
“He’s the best kitty.”
“Yeah,” Leon said, swallowing down the urge to say that James was hands down the best boyfriend he’d ever had. “He deserves to get dressed up all fancy, but it sort of derailed myentire morning. I left the home office to ask Aspen if I could text you about that shop you got Yarmen’s toys from and realized I’d wasted half the fucking day.”
“Oh no,” James said with a laugh. “It’s called Pet Paradise.”
“Fuck, that’s right,” Leon said with a groan.
“What happened after that?”
“Aspen did a good job of feeding and watering me, and I got some work done this afternoon, but then I crashed,” Leon said, glancing back to see that Aspen was grinning widely, still on the phone with Noah. He wondered if he ever looked like that while talking to James.
Or if James looked like that while talking to him.
“I feel stupid that I wasted so much time. I didn’t get to see you, or eat lunch with you, and instead I spent the morning searching the internet for cat bandanas like a jackass.”
