The microwave dinged, and Aspen held up a finger before going to retrieve their food. They brought the steaming cups to the table, then returned to stand before Leon.
“Yeah, I spent my first six hours on meds researching a trip to Paris, even though I have never in my entire life wanted to go to Paris; I just really wanted a croissant.”
Leon set his water, which was still only on the 10:00 am line, down on the table along with the marshmallows. “A croissant sounds good, actually. I don’t know what was up with those chips, but–”
“Yeah, sometimes the meds can make chewing exhausting,” Aspen said, and Leon gaped at them.
“That’s exactly what it is! The fucking chewing!”
Aspen threw their arms around Leon in a hug, but before he could figure out what to do with that, a phone alarm went off.
“Hey, look, time to eat lunch,” Aspen chirped as they skipped across the room to retrieve their phone.
Leon was still far from hungry, but his eating schedule and eating habits had always been a bit off. He would often forgetto eat, or, when he remembered, he would get bored halfway through and move on to something else.
He could hear Caden’s voice in his head, saying that was quite possibly due to his ADHD, but he wasn’t in the mood for that. Aspen was offering a solution to his current situation, so he might as well give it a shot.
Leon collapsed into one of his kitchen chairs and took a small sip of the soup. It was immediately clear why this was one of Aspen’s “gifts.” It felt like a revelation not having to chew.
“Okay, so your morning was a bit of a wash, but now we just had lunch, and this is a great time to see how you do with task shifting,” Aspen said, rising from the table to throw away their empty cups after they finished.
Leon shoved another marshmallow in his mouth. “Maybe I should sit out here with you.”
Aspen pointed a finger gun at him. “Now you’re thinking! Body doubling to go along with your meds sounds like a great idea.”
Leon went to retrieve his laptop and sat on the other side of the couch from Aspen. “Do you think if I’m better able to do work now, that’s due to me getting used to the meds, or could it just be the body doubling?”
Aspen shrugged and tossed a chip in their mouth. “Who knows. I’d say since your morning was a bit rough, let's get you back on track, and I can always come over tomorrow to try it again. Also, if it turns out that youdoneed body doubling, that’s not the worst thing. You work in an office building. I’m sure there are ways to make that work.”
Leon cracked his knuckles and glanced at his phone, which was lying on top of Aspen’s on the table.
Aspen followed his gaze. “I highly suggest you not pick up your phone, but it’s your life.”
Leon sighed and opened his laptop.
Thankfully, the afternoon went a lot better than the morning. Aspen glanced over every once in a while to make sure he wasn’t looking at cat bandanas, which he only did twice more. He decided to start by pulling up an email to ask his boss to purchase the license. From there, he was able to check off almost a dozen tasks he’d been putting off for weeks. It was almost like with meds, his best friend, his cat, and his emotional support bag of marshmallows, he could do anything.
That is, until around four pm, when he began to crash.
It started with a small headache, and he took a big drink of water, bringing him almost to the 4:00 pm line, but that didn’t do much to help. He looked around the apartment, in case maybe it was eye strain, but when he looked back at the screen, it hadn’t helped either.
Then it was as if a physical weight settled around his shoulders. It felt like he was being dragged down into the couch, and he had no choice but to curl up on his side. Once there, he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to get up.
“You done for today?” Aspen asked, still clicking away on their laptop.
“Dunno,” Leon mumbled.
Yarmen jumped onto the sofa and climbed up the mountain ridge of Leon’s body. His paws tickled Leon’s side, but his body was dead weight, and he couldn’t do anything other than shift his hips a little to encourage Yarmen to settle in the curve of his side.
He lay still for several moments before reaching up with a heavy hand to pet Yarmen’s head. Strangely, his fingertips were numb, so he tried some box breathing, but that didn’t seem to help, and the feeling spread into his knuckles.
He’d never had a panic attack in front of anyone but James before, and he really didn’t want to start now. Besides, what was there to feel anxious about?
Sweat broke out under his arms, and his next few breaths came out as wheezes. Aspen shut their laptop and scrambled onto their knees so they could hover over Leon. “Hey, okay, you’re alright. Talk to me, hon. What are you feeling?”
“Bad,” Leon huffed.
He rolled over to bury his face in the couch, and Yarmen jumped off him with a surprised warble.
