“Hannah’s pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” I repeat —maybe the word will change if I say it slower. “Who’s the—” I stop myself. I don’t need the rest of that sentence. I’m going to be sick. I see it all over his face.
“You,” I whisper. “You’re the father.” He doesn’t say a damn word, and that’s the confirmationI needed. There’s just silence. I stand too fast, so the whole place spins. I feel dizzy, but I brace myself against the table.
“When?” I ask. It comes out too soft. I ask again, louder this time. “When did this happen?” He scrubs a hand over his face. He doesn’t look at me; he can’t face me. “The last night she was here. We?—”
“Stop,” I can’t hear this from him. He was with me before she got here; he was in my bed. He told me he couldn’t stay away from me, that he wanted me. He made me feel like I was the goddamn center of the universe. And meanwhile, just after a few beers, he goes straight to her. I feel like such an idiot. How could I fall for it? For him again? I knew better. I always did.
“Liv—”
“No.” My voice breaks. “You don’t get to say my name anymore.” He finally looks at me, and it just hurts. His eyes are glassy. His face is wrecked. He looks like the one who got broken. Too bad I already beat him to it.
“I was never going to ask you to choose,” I say, quiet now. “Not between me and her. Not your kids. I knew what I was signing up for.” I swallow hard. “But I never thought you’d do this to me. We were supposed to figure things out, together.”
“It wasn’t... I didn’t plan it. It just happened,” he says, like that changes anything.
“Oh, great. That helps. You just happened to get your wife pregnant while having an affair with your ex-girlfriend.”
“Don’t call it that, Liv. And I know it makes it worse.” I nod, because he’s right. It does. Tears sting myeyes, but I refuse to cry in front of him. “You had a choice,” I say. “That night, you chose to do it, you chose her.” He opens his mouth, maybe to explain, maybe to beg, but I’m already done.
“My fucking heart was in your hands, Ethan, and you dropped it. Again.” He moves closer to me. “Liv, please?—”
“You know what? Don’t.” I cut in, sharp. “Your free trial’s over.”
I don’t look back as I walk out of the restaurant. I can’t. Because if I do, I’ll fall apart right there, and he doesn’t get that version of me, not anymore.
My legs move, but my mind’s spinning. Hannah’s pregnant, with his baby. She is his wife, and they are growing their family. God, I’m a fucking idiot.
I can still feel him on my skin from last night, I can still taste him on my lips. But he’s not mine anymore.
He never was.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
ETHAN
The second Olivia walks away,it hits me. It felt like a hollow, wide-open kind of pain. Like someone reached in, grabbed my heart from me, and yanked it out of my chest.
She didn’t yell at me, she didn’t cry, and that’s how I know she hates me. She looked like she didn’t recognize me anymore. I’m still sitting there in the restaurant, while the world just slipped through my hands. I can’t fucking breathe.
Hannah’s pregnant, and Olivia is gone.
I stare at my phone, hands shaking, vision blurry. I scroll aimlessly, not even sure what I’m looking for. I need a voice that won’t make it worse.
Agnes.
I hit call before I can overthink it—the second ring, and she picks up. “Hey, I know, I know, you miss me,” she says jokingly. “She’s pregnant, Agnes. Hannah. Andit’s mine. I just told Olivia and…” I exhale hard. “I think I lost her. I think I really fucking lost her.”
She’s quiet for a bit. “Where are you? Are you driving? If so, pull over. Breathe.” I breathe in and out as I head to my car. “No, I’m, I was having breakfast with Olivia. I’m in the car, but I’m not driving.”
“Okay, breathe. Tell me what happened.” I tell her about the night at the beer tasting, the tension between them, how things escalated when we got home. How I fucked everything up. “She wanted another baby,” I say, like it’s some twisted punchline. “I told her no, and I meant it. We talked about this; I didn’t want to bring another child into the world when all this confusion was consuming me.” I exhale.
“One fucking night.” She’s just listening on the other line. Not judging me or anything. “What happened with Olivia?”
“I saw in her face the pain. I hurt her worse than I did in the past. She’s gone, Agnes. And I can’t even blame her.” There’s silence, I know it’s a pity. “She loves you, Ethan.”
“Not anymore, Agnes. She’s long gone.” I drag a hand down my face. “What kind of man does this?” I whisper. “Cheats on his wife, falls back in love with the girl he never stopped loving, then knocks up his wife on the way out?”
