“My turn.” She says with a dangerous smirk on her face, one that tells me that she’s not going to play nice anymore. “What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve had about me…lately?” Shit, I was right. But I can’t answer that—at least not with the truth. “And be honest.”
“It was just now. That you take offyour leggings, recline that seat back, and I watch as you touch yourself until you’re soaked, until I feel the need to touch you and taste you. Right here, in this truck.” Her breath stutters; I can see it. She shifts in her seat without saying a word. She starts reclining the seat and pulls her leggings down, just an inch, to tease me. Then she laughs, pulls her leggings back up, and adjusts the seat. “You wish, Ethan Cole, you wish.” I shake my head. She almost gave me a heart attack right here.
“You are something else, Olivia.” She laughs, for real this time, and that’s refreshing. And then all of a sudden, her expression changes.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
OLIVIA
I stare at him,“So, I really don’t know how to say this, but I opened your mom’s box and read her letter.” Oh God, this is harder than I thought. I should’ve waited for him to open it. Right? It was his mom. It is his mom. Ugh! “Okay, so what’s in the box and what did the letter say?” Ah, I don’t want to tell him, I can’t do this. Olivia, suck it up. You decided to put yourself in this position; now be a woman.
“Okay, you need to pick one. The box or the letter, and then on our way back, we’ll talk about the other thing. Deal?” Yes, this is better; this way, I don’t have to deal with both at once. Now, I hope he picks the letter. He is looking at me like I just rigged the game, and honestly, I love this feeling. “Let’s do the letter. But you don’t need to read the whole thing. It was meant for you, and I appreciate you wanting to share it with me, but it's yours.”
Ugh, I hate this side of him, sonoble, so sweet. No, focus. “Okay, that’s fair, I’ll read you some parts that I know you might want to hear.” He nods, turning the music down. I take the letter out of my bag, and I can sense his eyes on me as I take it out of the envelope.
‘My sweet girl, if you are reading this, it means I’m not here anymore, which sucks, I know.’
We both laugh. This is so her.
‘I always wanted you to have this, and I know that under different circumstances you would’ve.’
I feel his eyes penetrating my skin. I know he understands what this is about, and now I’m scared. It’s raining, so he’s pretending to be focusing on the road rather than on me, but that’s bullshit.
‘I loved you like a daughter, you were and always will be part of our family, no matter where life takes you. This meant a lot to me, and I know it meant a lot for Ethan too.’
I stop right there, I don’t want to keep reading, and Iknow I don’t need to. He understood. The rain slams against the windshield like it’s in a bad mood, and we are stopping in the middle of the road. “Let’s table this conversation for now.” He says to roll the window down as an officer approaches the truck. “Hey, officer, what’s going on?”
“There’s a bad accident on the bridge, we had to close it, and we got a tornado watch just now, so we’re pulling everyone off the road.” Ah, great, just what we needed, more time alone together to finish the conversation I don’t want to have. He nods, rolling the window up, and glances at me. “Should we look for a hotel or something?”
He had to be joking. “A hotel in the middle of nowhere? You are really confident, sir. But what we’re going to find here is a run-down motel at its best.” He looks at me like I’m stupid. “You have a better idea? Because we could drive back, but we are four hours in already, and still, we’ll need to wait out the tornado.”
I hate this so much, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but hell. “Okay, let me see what I can find. Take this exit on the right, and we can stop nearby if needed.” And as soon as I say that and he takes the exit, it’s like God or the Devil heard me. Because down the road, in flashing neon lights, it says ‘MOTEL’. I look at him and put my hand out. “Voila, there you go, I found a motel.” He laughs and drives to it.
This must be the worst place I have ever been. The rug sounds as you walk on it. I don’t mean you can hear the floor underneath, I’m saying you canactually hear the carpet. Which means that it has been wet more times than it has been dry. That’s scary. And unsanitary for sure. We approach the counter, and I can see the keys in those little boxes in the back of the wall. I feel like I’m in a movie, but not the good kind, more like a scary type of shit that you know someone is going to die from the beginning. I don’t know if I’m saying this in my mind or out loud, but Ethan is looking at me like I’m insane. “You need to stop.”
“Stop what?” Oh shit, I must have said something out loud. “You are spiraling. It looks like you are in a scary movie and are finding a way not to die, but you are dying anyway.” Yep, he is in my head, which is worse than saying something out loud. “Okay, you need to get out of my head. And this looks exactly like that.” He rolls his eyes at me and approaches the lady at the counter.
“Can we have two rooms, please, just for one night?” She looks between us and checks the wall for the keys, but as she is about to grab them, a guy in the next computer grabs one of the keys. I search for another one, but I don’t see any. “Oh, sorry, it looks like we only have one room left.” Ethan inhales and exhales louder than necessary. “That’s okay. Is it a double bedroom?”
She checks the computer, “No, sorry, it’s a single room.” He looks at me, I look at him. We’re not saying anything; we don’t have to. “Okay,” he says as he takes the key. “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he whispers to me. And we are off to the room.
When he opens the door, I look at him, look at the rug, look at him again. “You are not sleeping on thisfloor.” This rug is as dirty as the road outside. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but he can’t sleep there. He laughs and nods. Well, this should be interesting. I drop my bag, peel off my wet jacket, and redo my hair in a bun.
“Can I call dibs on the shower?” I nod, prepping the bed for what is going to be the worst sleepover in history. Two exes trapped in a motel, after they almost have sex in an office in a bar downtown, who are pretending to be just friends because they are both married. Yeah, sounds about right.
I sit on the edge of the bed, watching him get ready for his shower, and I can’t help but wonder what he looks like naked now. It’s been a long time since I saw him, and he saw all of me the other day, which isn’t fair. I’m tired of pretending I didn’t enjoy it. And more so, I’m tired of pretending I regret it. I look up, and he’s already watching me.
“What’s on your mind, Liv?” The answer is simple. “You,” He looks at me like he was waiting for that answer. “I’m right here.” And that’s the problem, he is right here, in front of me, in a motel room. I could be a responsible adult and ignore it, take a shower, go to bed, and be on our way in the morning. But with him, I’m not that. I’m not capable of being that. “We should fight this,” I say.
“We should,” he agrees, stepping toward me. “Then why are you walking towards me?” And just like that, the tension’s back. That same feeling we had at the attorney’s office, the same thing at the bar. This heat, I can’t control when I’m around him. This feeling makes me want toforget about everything and risk it all. His hand brushes a piece of hair from my face. “Say no,” he murmurs. “I’ll stop.”
I don’t say anything because what could I say? Instead, I stand up and kiss him. The first kiss is slow, just like the first we ever had. Which I have to say, I was the one who kissed him the first time. I don’t think he remembers that, but I do. Then the kiss escalates; there’s nothing sweet or soft about what’s going on here. His mouth moves like it owns mine, and right now, it does.
I drag him closer, pull at his shirt, and we tumble into the bed. He strips me down in seconds, leggings, panties, bra, all gone. His mouth leaves trails down my neck, over my chest, everywhere. When I tug at his belt, he groans; it’s low, but I hear him, jeans hitting the floor fast. I can feel him pressing against me; he’s not wearing anything under those jeans. Heaven can’t help me now. And that’s when his fingers slide between my legs.
“Fuck,” he breathes. “You’re soaked.” I meet his eyes. “Your fault.” He kisses me again, then presses against me, teasing. “Tell me no, I’ll stop Olivia.” I could, and I should. I shake my head, but I say yes, and kiss him again. That’s all he needed.
We don’t speak or ask anything, but I see him trying to reach for his bag and I feel like I should say it, “I have an IUD, we don’t need to—” he nods, “That’s okay, then we— “, I interrupt him, “Okay, perfect, let’s—” He didn’t let me finish, he just kissed me again.
