“No.”
“Seeing this today shifted my reality. I think…” I pause as my thoughts form into words. “I think you should finish with Fetterman.”
His jaw drops. “What?”
“He’s an obsession, and I think if you channel all of it, the rage at every predator that has been and is yet to come into the act, you can purge yourself of it all. He’ll be your sacrificial lamb.”
Vanian nods. “I understand what you’re saying.”
The next thought that bubbles up surprises me, but at the same time, it feels unbelievably right. “And I think I’d like to go with you.”
“What?”
I nod as a sense of clarity washes over me. “I’ll do it with you. Just this once. And it’ll be the last time. We’ll get this one handled, and then we’ll walk away. Clean slate.”
Vanian stares at me like I’ve turned into an alien in front of him.
“I believe if I do this with you, I’ll close the loop that was created today.” I squeeze his hand. “And then I’ll be by your side while you figure out your next steps. If you want to continue in your field, maybe you shift who you work with or the topics you handle, but I’ll be right here to support you.”
As he gazes at me, his eyes fill with tears. “I can’t let you do that, Nan. I can’t let you take that risk.”
“You’re notlettingme do anything. I’m an adult and capable of making my own decisions. Don’t think I haven’t thought this through. I haven’t thought of anything else since I left the hospital.”
A tear slides down his cheek, and as he wipes it away, he leans in closer to me. “Do you really want this? You’ll have blood on your hands.”
I nod, exhaling slowly. “We’ll have a secret. One that will bind us together for as long as we live. I can handle it, but just this once. You have to promise me you’ll do everything you can to stop.”
Vanian nods. “I will. I’ve been thinking about it all day.” He squeezes my hand. “We’re really gonna do this?”
“We’re really gonna do this. We need a solid plan.”
A slow smile pulls at his lips. “Confession: I’ve been working on one.”
“I figured. I’ve seen you looking up stuff.”
“And you didn’t call me out?”
“No. I assumed you’d tell me when you were ready.”
“How are you real? I never thought anyone would be able to accept me if they knew. I thought I would die with this secret.”
“You will, but it’ll be a shared secret now.” I lift his hand and kiss it. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking.”
It’s beentwo days since I came home and told Vanian I’d help him take out a sex offender. Two days to change my mind or snap out of it, but instead of that happening, my resolve has only strengthened. I’ve been reading about case after case where justice is either missed altogether or is so insultingly paltry they might as well not have even bothered.
I’m seeing the world through Vanian’s eyes now, and it’s a brutal place. In the Midwest alone, the cases could keep us busy for years. It’s disgusting, and at the top of that filth pile is Alex Fetterman with his countless victims. We only know about the ones who came forward, but how many didn’t? How many are still suffering in silence, too ashamed to stand up? Or worse, too disheartened to believe there could be justice for them. Well, justice is coming. Just not the way anyone expects.
I look up as Balt enters the main house. I’m sweeping the floors after another busy day of tours. I rarely see Balt without Deo, so my interest is piqued.
“Hi, Nantes,” Balt says, sliding his hands into his fancy trouser pockets. “Busy?”
“Just closing down for the day.” I put my hand on top of the broom handle. “What’s up?”
“Deo tells me you and Vanian go way back.”
“Yep.”
“He seems like a great guy.”
