Vanian seems to notice too, catching Balt’s eye and offering a slight smile that quickly fades. I don’t know Balt that well, even though we see each other practically every day. He’s pretty quiet most of the time, and honestly, as long as he’s cool to my brother and family, I don’t really care. He seems to know his shit when it comes to the company’s finances too, but I doubt any of us know more than surface-level information about him.
“There’s a cool bar in Chicago that I went once when I was there for a work conference and bored out of my mind,” Deo says. “I had a blast. I wonder if it’s still there.”
“What’s it called?” Vanian asks.
“Doubt you’d know it. It’s in Boystown.”
“Why wouldn’t I know it?” Vanian’s tone is slightly defensive. “I’ve been to Pride, you know.”
Everyone falls into awkward silence for a moment. Deo nods, smiling.
“You’re right. My bad. There are plenty of allies.”
“I’m not an ally,” Vanian mumbles.
“What was that?” Nonna asks, leaning in. “You’re not an ally?” Her brow creases. “Then what the hell are you?”
“Nonna.” I shake my head at her.
Vanian puts his hand over mine. “It’s okay.” He clears his throat, putting his fork down. “I don’t know yet, but I think maybe I’m bisexual.”
“Oh,” Nonna says softly, sitting straight. “My apologies, Vanian. I didn’t mean to push that way.”
“It’s my fault. My wording was weird.” He smiles. “It’s new.” I notice his cheeks flushing red. “That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud to anyone but Nan.”
“Thank you for trusting us,” Brogan says.
Vanian huffs a laugh. “If I can’t trust the Benedettis, who can I trust?”
After dinner, Vanian and I walk the property. He’s quiet, but I’m not sure what to say to get him talking again.
A few minutes pass and we settle on a bench. He reaches for my hand, playing with my fingers.
“It felt pretty cool telling your family about my sexuality.”
“I’m glad. Nonna didn’t mean to push.”
“Oh, I know. She was defending her family. If she thought I was some kind of homophobic dickhead, I’d be ousted before I could blink.”
I chuckle. “Very true.”
“I’m happy for you that you have such a good family. My family wouldn’t be cool about it at all if I told them.”
“I know. That might be another reason I didn’t tell you back in high school. I think I knew your dad would be weird about it.”
Vanian nods. “Probably, yeah.”
“Will you tell them now?”
He laughs. “Fuck no. They don’t know much about me anyway. They don’t care.”
“I thought you got along with them okay. Did something happen?”
“No.” He exhales slowly. “I realized the older I got that I didn’t have anything in common with them. They’re conservatives and think I’m a bleeding heart just for caring about people.”
“Is your sister like that too?”
“Couldn’t tell you. She and I don’t talk beyond pleasantries. I get the sense that she leans more toward them than me, but she refuses to engage in conversation about anything other than topical stuff. All she cares about are her kids.”
