“Not at all, actually.”
It would be so easy to spill my guts right now and tell him he’s had a starring role in my fantasies since I was a teen, that I thought about him all the time, and how every cell in my body wants to kiss him, but I hold back. There’s a strong chance he’ll kiss me and decide it’s not for him. We can laugh it off and move on without all my feelings out in the open.
“Sure, Van, I’ll kiss you.” I set my mug down. “After I brush my teeth.”
“Go now, then. I don’t want to wait.”
He hops up out of his chair and grabs my wrist, pulling me with him down the hall. I watch him walk to the guest room before slipping inside my room.
While brushing my teeth, I replay his words. I can’t believe he wanted to kiss me last night and I turned him down. As drunk as I was, I still feared his rejection. But we’re sober now, and he still wants to. I don’t want to get my hopes up that there could be something between us, but it’s hard not to. This could be nothing more than a passing curiosity. He was always a little possessive of me, even when we were kids.
I rinse my mouth and splash cool water on my face before squaring my shoulders and walking out into the living room. Vanian is already sitting on the couch, wearing nothing but the boxers he had on earlier. He turns toward me and smiles, almost melting the tiny bit of resolve still holding my feelings inside.
I clear my throat to keep from blurting anything out and take a seat next to him. Now that I think about it, I probably shouldhave done this drunk. It would’ve been a much easier transition, and even easier to blow it off after.
Van doesn’t move in for a kiss right away. Instead, he takes one of my hands in his and gently massages it.
“Tell me about the best kiss you ever had,” he says.
“Best kiss?”
“I want to hear about it.”
“Uh, well, I went on a date a few years ago with this guy named Joey. We met on an app, and I was looking for something quick and easy, but he insisted we meet for drinks first. It was fun, and the whole conversation was tinged with heat and chemistry.”
Van’s jaw ticks as he listens, but he nods for me to continue.
“We went back to his place after drinks, and when he kissed me, it was unexpected. Not the kiss itself, but thewayhe kissed. He was really into it. Sensual. He said he liked kissing so much that sometimes he could get off just from that.”
Van nods. “Did you guys fuck that night?”
I shake my head. “No. We got naked and made out and rubbed against each other until we came.”
“Did you keep seeing him?”
“A few times, but we didn’t have anything in common outside of the bedroom. It just sort of fizzled out.”
“Were you sad?”
“No. Now, your turn. Best kiss.”
“Her name was Anna. Met her shortly after undergrad. We were in the same clinic.”
“Was she beautiful?”
He nods. “She was. She had short dark hair and really pretty blue eyes, and she was so soft. Everything about her was soft. Her voice, her demeanor, her skin, her smile. But when she kissed, she was anything but soft. She was unbridled when it came to her passion. I enjoyed the contrast.”
“What made her kiss nice?”
“Similar to what you said about Joey. She threw her whole self into it.”
“Did you fuck her?”
“Yeah. I saw her for a few months, but we knew it would be temporary. She had applied to several hospitals on the East Coast where she’s from.” He turns sideways and puts both his hands on my thighs. “I’m going to replace Joey.”
“What?”
“Your best kiss. It’s gonna be me now.”
