“You’re fine, kid,” his dad said softly.
It would be a small life, but probably a satisfying one. There was a part of him—stronger than he’d expected—that wondered if he should just call it now. Tell his dad that maybe this whole NFL experiment had been crazy. Pushing too hard, pushing way past his comfort zone.
But he didn’t need Shane to tell him that if he was out of his comfort zone, maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.
“Actually,” Cam admitted, “I’m not sure you’re wrong.”
“About?”
It was hard to be honest, especially now. Hard to admit what he’d refused to even really acknowledge tohimselfback then, and to do it now, to his dad, knowing how he was going to react.
Cam swallowed hard. “I haven’t really wanted to leave the apartment.”
There was an understandable silence from his dad. Then he cleared his throat. “Kid, it’s not that surprising. Toronto’s a big city.”
“Yeah it’s that. It’s . . .it’s scarier than I thought it would be.” And scarier, too, to admit it to his dad. “And well . . .”
“Well?” Shane prompted.
God, this was so hard to say. “I know people say big cities are different, but they really are.”
“Kid, what happened?”
“Nothing really. When I say it, it’s so stupid. But I got lost late one night. Ducked into the PATH—you know, one of those tunnels under the buildings? Ran into a bad group of guys. I think they were a bad group of guys, anyway. I wasn’t sure—didn’t want to risk it though. Got out of there, fast. But they followed me. I was sure I was gonna get jumped.” And forwhat, Cam had thought then. He didn’t evenownanything that was worth money. Just his contract, and that was a piece of paper and cash in the bank, not in his pocket.
There was another tense silence, like his dad was having trouble not losing his shit. This was exactly why Cam hadn’t told him. “And?”
“And it was fine, in the end. I ran into another group, different guys. I think they were drunk, but cool, you know? Asked them for directions, made it back to my place in one piece. But . . .” Ithad been hard to admit any of this, but it was harder to admitthis.
“You’ve got to just spit it out, Cameron,” his dad said, a little sternly, but mostly all Cam felt was the love echoing across the line.
“It was fine. It was totally fine. But it might not have been. And I’ve never felt like that before. Not once. Not ever. And it freaked me out. Reminded me that I was . . .you know, really far from home. Away from everything I’ve ever known.”
“Yeah.” Shane’s voice was heavy. “That would be a lot to deal with.”
“I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I keep thinking, every time I go out, whatcould’vehappened, you know? And I don’t like it. I don’t want to worry.”
“I don’t want you to either.” His dad’s voice was so gentle. “That sucks. But every big city’s gonna have dicey moments like that, you know? You grew up in a small community. Knew every person. Even when you went to school, I bet you never even worried about it. Never even thought about it.”
“I didn’t,” Cam admitted. “Not until it was almost too late.”
“Hey, listen to what you’re saying, okay?Almosttoo late.Almost. It didn’t happen. And now you’re aware.”
Cam swallowed hard, still trying to tamp down the embarrassment wiggling through his stomach like worms. He’d never been ashamed to tell his dad something before, but he’d hidden this for months now.
“Yeah,” Cam said.
Not just from Shane—but from his teammates too, because the thought of telling them was even worse than confiding in his dad. They already thought he was too young and too naive. Imagine if they knew just how stupid he really was.
It made him seem so weak and useless. He was strong, sure, a professional athlete, but what good would that have done against a whole pack of guys?
“Let me guess,” his dad said, “you haven’t told anyone about this.”
“No shit,” Cam said dryly.
Shane hummed under his breath.
“They already think I’m some kind of gullible country idiot,” Cam grumbled.
