“No, no, no. Of course not.” Aidan said it hurriedly, shooting Dawson an apologetic look that soothed over most—if not all—of the sting. “I didn’t mean it like that, Daws. Just . . .I know you’re still hurting. And that kind of hero worship, it feels good, right?”
“’Course it does,” Dawson agreed. “But that’s not all it is. Not anymore.”
He’d known that, too, of course. It was why the Bad Idea had morphed into a Less-Bad Idea.
“What do you mean?” Aidan asked, but at least he’d downshifted fromdemandingtogenuine curiosity.
“We’re friends now. And now we’re friends who’re hooking up.” Aidan’s face did something complicated and Dawson had to add, “And that’sokay.We’re both good with it. We talked it over.”
“Less hot,” Mo said.
“Don’t encourage him, okay?” Aidan said wryly.
“Just saying. Having a long-drawn-out discussion when you’re supposed to be getting naked? Kind of a boner killer.”
“Oh, we did itbeforewe got naked,” Dawson said. “After the security guard caught us making out in the basement of that big shiny gold bank building.”
“Oh my God,” Aidan muttered.
“It was raining, so we took the PATH. It wasn’t like I’m regularly in the habit of making out in public places,” Dawson retorted.
“I don’t care where you were,” Aidan said.
“Reminder: you were making out withyourboyfriend in that closet,” Mo said. “Atwork, nonetheless.”
“For the millionth time, he had something in his eye.”
“Or in his pants,” Dawson crowed.
The waiter arrived then with their sushi. Aidan looked torn between indignation and relief that maybe he might get out of this whole conversation.
They shifted into small talk—talking about their next opponent, the Titans—and how spicy this wasabi was, and how Dawson still had his Iowan white-farm-boy palate. They finished eating, and Mo went to the bathroom after Aidan had grabbed the check.
“Hey,” he said, glancing up at Dawson as he finished filling out the credit card slip, “don’t freak out, okay?”
“Oh, God,” Dawson said, exhaling hard. “What is it now?”
“No, no, it’s not bad. Shit.” Aidan made a face. “I’m not doing this right. I just want to say I didn’t mean to be so judgmental about you and Cam. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders—”
“Maybe last year,” Dawson inserted.
“No,” Aidan said, shaking his head. “No, you donow. What happened last year had nothing to do with who you are as a person, Daws. Brynn wanting to leave and her dad stealing—that wasn’tyou. That was all them. And what happened after? Anyone would’ve gone through it. You just had to do it in front of the whole fucking NFL.”
Dawson took a deep breath, his throat suddenly tight. “Right.”
“I’m just saying, you’re a good person. Notwere.Are. And if you’re starting something with Cam, even if it’s casual, then you know what you’re doing.”
“Do I?” Dawson questioned.
Aidan shot him a suffering look. “You told me yourself. You guys are friends. You’ve got chemistry. Who am I to say that it’s a bad idea that you hook up? You’re smart. Too smart to make a stupid mistake.”
“Nobody’s too smart to make a stupid mistake when their dick is involved,” Dawson observed.
Aidan huffed. “Dude, I’m trying to tell you it’s okay. Stop playing devil’s advocate here.”
Dawson knew it, though he wasn’t just doing it for Aidan’s sake, but his own. Still, whenever he thought about last night, regret was the last thing he felt.
Instead, all he experienced was an undeniable eagerness to do it again, as soon as possible.
