It was actually the biggest deal. Dawson wanted to tell him that since his divorce over a year ago, he’d not looked at anyone and wanted them, not until Cam.
But they were playing with fire enough as it was.
Maybe Cam even knew it, because he turned and walked into the living room then, grabbing a sweatshirt on the couch and tugging it on.
Dawson watched the last of his bare skin disappearing and told himself that he wasn’t disappointed. That he didn’t enjoy every second of the still-tanned muscles of Cam’s back rippling as he covered up.
“So,” Cam said, that dimple returning, “what’s up?”
“Oh. Yeah.” He’d come down here for a reason. Notjustto ogle the rookie in all his shirtless glory. “Um, I wanted to know if you wanted to go for a walk with me. I gotta get out of the house, and figured you might need that, too.”
“Got me all figured out?” Cam teased, but he was still grinning, like he’d just won the lottery.
“Not entirely, but—” It was all Dawson got out before Cam wrapped an arm around his waist and tugged him in close.
That two inches Cam had on him had never seemed like a thing, but it felt like a thing now.
Dawson froze.
“I know you said it was a bad idea,” Cam said. His mouth was hovering only an inch above Dawson’s. The arm around his waist wasn’t holding him tight enough that Dawson couldn’t get away if he wanted to.
The problem was that he didn’t want to, even if heneededto.
He pulled himself away. “Uh,” Dawson mumbled.
“I know, bad idea and all that, but could be fun,” Cam said, shrugging. Like it was no big deal that he’d almost kissed Dawson.
“Fun?” Dawson parroted back.
“Oh come on, you’re not too old that you’ve forgotten what fun is.”
Maybe he had. Because ten years ago, he’d have been enthusiastic about the prospect of kissing Cam, even if it was only fun.
But then ten years ago, he hadn’t seen the dissolution of a marriage and nearly the mirrored dissolution of a career he’d fought so hard for.
“Not that old, no,” Dawson agreed. He could tell Cam how tempted he’d been, but if he told him justhowattracted he was, how much his hands were itching to bury themselves under Cam’s sweatshirt and find the bare skin underneath, he had a feeling pulling away wouldn’t be quite so easy the second time.
“Didn’t think so,” Cam said, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “But yeah, let’s go for a walk. I could get out, too.”
He grabbed one of those puffer vests and shrugged it over his sweatshirt and slid his keycard into a pocket of his sweatpants, along with his wallet.
They were in the elevator, when Cam turned to him again. “Sorry,” he said, that dimpled smile back in full effect, “but you sort of distracted me. Are you okay though?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Dawson shoved his hands into his pockets. They were cold, sure, but also maybe then he wouldn’t be thinking about touching Cam again.
They’d fit together, better even than the late-night images his uncooperative imagination had supplied.
“I don’t know, you looked upset when I opened the door. And not just ’cause I was shirtless. And you said youhadto get out. So I wondered.”
Dawson sighed. He supposed that he’d already been too honest today. Why not push it a little further? “My lawyer called. It’s funny. I was thinking how, even once in a while, when he does, it should be a good thing, right? And it never fucking is.”
Cam looked surprised. “Never?”
“Sometimes it feels like the only one who wants my father-in-law to pay for this shit is me.”
“That can’t be true,” Cam soothed. “He’s on trial, right?”
He pushed the door open to the late afternoon. It was blustery today, only a bit of weak sunshine showing through the clouds. Dawson didn’t have a destination in mind, but picked one direction and Cam just followed along, like where they were going didn’t really matter.
