It was true, but Cam didn’t like admitting to being intimidated. “Yeah, sort of, I guess. But Idolike Duke and Jack. They’re cool guys.”
“Cool enough to show a whole presentation about me?” Dawson asked, his eyebrow lifting up.
“Ugh, don’t listen to them. It wasn’t apresentation, it was just me pointing out a few things when Duke kept defending the Ravens, when they shouldn’t ever have treated you like that—”
“Yeah, they probably should’ve,” Dawson said flatly and then looked surprised again, like he’d never expected to admit that out loud, or to admit it to Cam.
“No,” Cam argued. “Sure, there was a tiny rough patch, but it wasn’t that long or that rough.”
“It was longandit was super rough,” Dawson said honestly. “I was there for it. It still sucks that they didn’t feel the same kind of loyalty to me that I felt for them. I’m allowed to be pissed about that, and Iam. But this is a business, and the sooner you realize that, the less this stuff will fuck you up.”
Cam nodded, though he secretly wasn’t sure he’d ever be realistic enough about his situation for itnotto fuck him up. He’d stayed focused and told himself a hundred times—maybe even a thousand—during training camp, that if he didn’t win the position from the old punter, that was okay. He’d end up somewhere, even if that somewhere wasn’t Toronto.
“It was a lot to expect you to deliver under those circumstances,” Cam argued. He wasn’t going to let Dawson beat himself up when he’d been through a war in his personal life, frankly wasstillgoing through it, to some extent, and that wasthe reason why he’d had so much trouble making kicks when they mattered.
“Yes but no.” Dawson sighed. “Anyway, I’ve been way too focused on my own shit. I’m sorry for that. And I’m gonna try to do better. Try to dodifferent, anyway.”
“Okay,” Cam said, swallowing hard. It felt good to hear it. Maybe Dawson hadn’t known he was struggling—not necessarily drowning, but no question churning up the current as he trod water—and maybe Dawson wouldn’t ever have the full picture. But that he was stepping up now felt good. Reassuring, honestly.
“So expect a lot more of these dinners,” Dawson said. “We’re both new to Toronto, so it only feels right we should work our way through Aidan’s list.”
“How longisthe list?” Cam wondered, picking his fork back up and shoving another forkful of delicious noodles into his mouth. If all the recs were as good as this one, he was going to get spoiled.
“Decent enough. We can add some more places, too, if you’ve got your eye on anything you want to try,” Dawson said. “I know Aidan doesn’t strike you as the guy you’d go to for abest of Torontolist but that guy is so disciplined, if he’s going to eat something off the meal plan, he’s going to make sure it’s damn good when he’s doing it.”
“Makes sense,” Cam said. He paused. Wondered if he’d earned enough of Dawson’s attention and trust to ask what he wanted to. Belly full of good food, he decided even if he hadn’t, he was going to ask anyway. “So you reallyneverwith Aidan Flynn?”
Dawson laughed. “God, rook, you are adorable. Really fucking cute. Sorry to burst all your fantasies but no, we never did. We were just friends. I didn’t even know Aidan was queer, to be honest. Kind of disappointed I was like thelastto fucking know.”
“Sucks.” Cam exchanged a commiserating glance with him.
“Probably better for everyone I didn’t.” Dawson grinned. “We’d have been a hot mess.”
“One of those, for sure,” Cam retorted.
“Aw, youarecute.”
As they finished up dinner and Dawson argued about grabbing the check—promising he’d let Cam pay for the next dinner they shared—Cam kept thinking about that. It wasniceDaws thought he was cute, but the more he turned it over in his head, the more he didn’t love the way he said it. Like Cam was some kind of small purse dog that you’d pet the head of and then barely spare a second thought for.
“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” Cam asked as they walked into the elevator. He pressed his floor and then realized, belatedly, that he didn’t actually know which floor Dawson lived on.
Dawson shot him a look, complicated and layered. Some guilt, some apology, a wry kind of humor like he’d just realized that they’d lived in the same building for months now, and Cam had never even been to his place. He pressed Nine.
“Eight? Traffic blows no matter what time we leave, which I’m sure you’ve discovered,” Dawson said.
“Yeah,” Cam said. “Food’s good here, sure, but the traffic is ass.”
“Just wait til the winter,” Dawson said knowingly.
Cam chuckled as the elevator came to a stop at his floor. “From Montana, dude.”
“Oh. Right.” Dawson shot him a lopsided smile. “Well, see you tomorrow morning, rook?”
“Sounds good,” Cam said, nodding.
Dawson patted him on the shoulder briefly, and there it was.
Like he was a purse dog.
