He couldn’t pretend with Shane; he never could.
“Just saying, you two looked . . .uh . . .pretty cozy there.”
Cam wanted to sink through the floor. “Dad.”
“I’m just saying. I’d have let you two go, but I thought if I did, I might see more than I bargained for.”
Turning towards the sink, Cam could feel how red hot the skin of his neck was, exposed by the loose collar of his T-shirt—though if he was being totally transparent, he was pretty sure this was actuallyDawson’sT-shirt.
“You don’t want to talk about it?” Shane asked.
“About me and Dawson nearly having sex in front of you? No. Really, I don’t. I don’t know what gave it away.”
His dad just laughed. “No, I’m not eventhatenlightened. I mean, do you want to talk about how you’re in love with him?”
Cam didn’t really want to talk about that either. Not that it was bad. It was not bad. The furthest thing from bad. But he’d barely gotten a chance to do a mental fist pump that he and Daws were finally on the same page, relationship-wise, never mind actuallycelebratethat Dawson knew it too.
Rinsing off the plates in the sink, he took a long moment to compose himself before he finally turned to face his father.
He’d been hearing since he was a kid how his dad had a kind face. And it was kind now. The basic level of kindness, sure, but also more, like he’d gone out of his way to keep every bit of judgment out of it.
“Last time we talked about him, you were still determined to keep it casual,” Shane pointed out, leaning forward, his elbows propped on the counter. It was still a little unbelievable to Cam that his dad was here at all, in Toronto and in his apartment.
There was the truth and then there was the carefully constructed fabric of unspoken semi-truths and fictions he and Dawsonhadbeen operating under. Though theyhadcut through them last night. Come clean with each other. Ormostlyclean, anyway.
Camhadn’ttold Dawson he was in love with him, even though he was pretty sure he was. Even more sure now, because his dad had taken one look at them together and had known. Not just wondered, butknown.
“Not anymore, though, I think . . .” Cam swallowed his concerns, and bared his heart. “I think it was never really very casual between us.”
It was what his dad had been claiming for a month, but to give him credit, Shane didn’t immediately say,I told you so.
“Yeah? You guys talk about it finally?”
“We’re starting to, yeah. Last night, we went out and it was a real date. I meant it as a date and Dawson thought it was a date, too. So we’re . . .um . . .dating.”
Shane smiled, full of genuine happiness. “That’s great. You’re happy about it?”
“Fucking thrilled,” Cam said, then shot his dad a look. “Would’ve been a little happier if you hadn’t showed up right in the middle of thewe’re boyfriends, nowcelebration.”
“Sorry,” Shane said, wincing. “I really thought the surprise would be good. And you’ve been a little distant—”
Cam opened his mouth to argue. He hadn’t beendistant. Okay. Maybe he had been, a little bit. Sticking to texts, instead of calling. But he’d been busy, and if he was being totally honest, preoccupied with Dawson.
“You don’t have to argue about it,” Shane said gently but sternly. “It’s okay if you were. I know it’s okay. I should be . . .” He trailed off. Looking, to Cam’s shock, a little guilty about it. “I should be okay with it. You’re a grown-up. Making your own life. I should let go, easier.”
“Should you?” Cam wondered. He couldn’t imagine a world in which they weren’t close, even if they weren’t in the same geographic location. Maybe that was because for so long, it had just been the two of them, and also because his dad hadneverheld him too close. Just close enough, as far as Cam was concerned.
He’d always wanted Cam to fly.
“I should,” Shane said wryly, looking guilty, still. “But I don’t want to.”
“Well, I don’t want you to. I know I’ve been busy, and not calling, the way I should.” Cam felt guilt surge through him.Sure, his dad had his whole life back in Montana, but now that Cam really thought about it, it was probably somewhat empty without him in it.
“I’m not here because you didn’t call as much,” his dad admitted. “I’m just . . .I don’t know, I just felt like I needed to see you. I know we said in a few weeks, for Thanksgiving, and through the holidays, but . . .”
The words Shane wasn’t saying were easy enough to hear.
“You know you’re always welcome, Dad,” Cam said softly. “I know the couch isn’t very comfortable, but I’m happy for you to stay.”
