I feel Dominic stir behind me and I start to doubt the decision I made last night.
Dominic climbs into bed, settling his body behind me, with a relaxed sigh.
"We can't do this anymore."
Dom freezes and I stare at the blank wall, pushing back the tears filling my eyes.
"Do what?" He rumbles, his arm curling around my waist.
"You can't sleep in here anymore," I manage to get out without turning into a mess.
"Why?" Dom manages to say calmly but I can feel his panic rising.
"I-I can't do this anymore, Dom. I can see where this is going with Rory, with all of us and if you can't—" my voice breaks and I take a deep breath. "If you can't accept this—accept us—then…we're done."
There’s a stunned silence that presses down on my chest painfully.
"That's it?" His arm disappears and the first tear falls. "I don't want a relationship so that's it? You've just decided we're done? And our friendship, to hell with it?"
"It's never been friendship, Dom." I close my eyes when I feel his body leave from where it was pressed against mine.
"This isn't friendship. It's friends with benefits or possibly something more but it's not what friends are," I try to explain to him.
"You want to just be friends?" Dominic says incredulously.
"No!" I raise my voice, sitting up. Facing the wall, I feel him move in behind me. His hands go to my shoulders. I can't stop the tears dripping down my face.
"Alec," he whispers, begging me not to do this. I squeeze my eyes shut, gripping the doona in my hands.
"I can't be your secret anymore. I can’t keep doing this—it’s slowly killing me, Dom. I don’t want to be with you if you’re not all in. You need to decide what you want. I'll never stop being your friend, Dom, but if that's all you want from me then tomorrow we're done and friends is all we're ever going to be."
I keep my eyes closed when he slowly takes his arm off me.
I don't open them when he kisses my cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment. He pulls back and I feel his eyes on me. He exhales deeply and rolls out of bed.
Tears prick my eyelids when I hear the door open. He hesitates and I silently beg him to come back to bed.
Tome.
He murmurs he's sorry before gently closing the door.
That sound, the finality of it…that's when I finally let myself go.
. . .
Dominic ~
It's for the best,I tell myself when I gently close the door to Alec's bedroom.
He can tell himself all he wants but he's never going to forgive me for this. For being a coward.
I couldn't face his disappointment when he wakes and I leave.
He's serious this time.
Alec's told me before that I need to make a decision. That he's fed up being my dirty little secret, only being with me when no one is around. He's never followed through.
This time he means it.
