Eve looked puzzled, but Ilona only nodded with understanding, reaching out to draw Lela into her lap with a dejected sigh.“Can I not?”
She trailed off with a shrug, but Fiona knew her sister-in-law’s thoughts often as well as her own.While Ilona had found at least a part of what Fiona longed for with her marriage to Fiona’s brother, Colin, three years past, the couple hadn’t yet been blessed with a child.
Brown eyes filled with caring and warmth, Ilona lifted her eyes back to Fiona’s.“I know what it is to want what you don’t have, Fiona.But I cannot evoke from nothing that which would make me happiest.And neither can you.”
“Dearest Ilona...”Eve sighed sadly, gleaning Ilona’s meaning as easily as Fiona.She took Ilona’s hand in hers and squeezed it sympathetically.
“Do not cry for me, my sisters,” Ilona said with her usual good cheer.“I have the love of a man I adore, friends like you, and hope.It is all I need.What do you need, Fiona?”
“More than I have,” she confessed.“I cannot continue to bear witness and unlike Jamie, I haven’t the option to run off to the Americas to escape it all.”
“Marriage has become your escape plan.”
Fiona shrugged, reluctant to verbally concur with Eve’s conclusion.Escape was such a desperate word.
Ilona laughed softly, and to Fiona’s surprise, humor danced in her chocolaty eyes.“And Ramsay is your ‘more’?Tsk, tsk, dear.What a poorly considered plan.”
“Ilona!”
Her sister-in-law giggled.Eve was smiling as well.“I shan’t apologize.While you might find temporary relief with him, such a hasty course of action will only bring you misery in the end.”
“I would at least have a family of my own.Children to love,” she pointed out.
The light in Ilona’s eyes dimmed.“There is no guarantee in that, I’m afraid.You’d be a fool to pin your hopes on it.”
“I’m sorry, Ilona.”How she hated hurting Ilona’s feelings when she was never anything but kind to her.“I’ve put my foot in it this time, haven’t I?”
She smiled, her spirits rebounding quickly as always.“No.Never.”
Eve looked down at the baby in her arms and the other children around her.“I’m sorry I hadn’t realized how unhappy you had been living with us, Fiona.You as well, Ilona dear.”
“Oh, Evie!I am not.I love you all and am glad for the joy each and every one of you has,” Fiona assured her.“I just want more for myself.If I can’t have the one thing I ever truly wanted in this life, I must at least have this.”
“What did you ever want that you could not have?”Eve asked curiously.
Ilona also pierced her with those all-seeing eyes, searching for an answer, but Fiona refused to offer anything more.Still, her eyes widened, then danced as if she had been privy to some titillating gossip.
“Did you know, Eve,” she said, turning to Eve, “that just a few days ago, I was saying that even without having met Lord Ramsay, I knew Fiona did not love him?”
“Is that so?What did you say to that, Fiona?”
She pressed her lips together, declining to speak.
“She agreed, of course, but wondered how I knew.”Ilona leaned toward Eve with an air of confidentiality and whispered.“No fire, you see?”
“Ilona!”Fiona protested.
“Hmm,” Eve nodded.“I do.”
“Evie, please!”
“The funny thing is,” Ilona continued, “I have seen it now.Yes, I have, but not in regard to Lord Ramsay.Isn’t that odd?”
Eve nodded, casting a sidelong glance of amusement at Fiona, who was all but huffing in outrage.
“But you know the oddest thing?”Ilona went on blithely as if she were utterly unaware of Fiona’s outrage.“Lord Ramsay seems to bear a striking resemblance to Lord Ayls—
“Ilona MacKintosh!”Fiona cried out, climbing to her feet.“Enough!It is one thing to disparage my choice but quite another to imply that I...that he...Oh!”
