And he’d wanted her, wanted to ravish her right there on the ice. Melt it away with the desire growing within him. But he hadn’t taken it. Not then and not here in this room. What he wanted for her, from her, had to be gained in its own time. It had to be gifted freely. It wasn’t something that could be seduced from her or forced in any manner.
He must give her time. He’d never had the patience to wait for anyone before. James wondered again what it was about Prim that set him against his own usual inclinations.
CHAPTER 14
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again!
~ Sojourner Truth
Home of Mr. & Mrs. Edward Harkness
3 East 75thStreet
New York, New York
Sunday evening
As a debutante of eighteen, climbing the staircase leading up to her first ball, Prim’s main concerns had been stepping on the hem of her white gown and tripping on the stairs, and the dreaded fear of becoming a wallflower without a single dance claimed.
Even then, she hadn’t been this nervous. For the past ten plus years, her waltzes had been shared only with her husband or one of her brothers. She’d been a matron, little better than the wallflower she’d dreaded becoming.
Tonight, James MacKintosh would fully launch the sham of their courtship under the eyes of the entire Knickerbocker society.
After shedding her coat and muff, she greeted her host and hostess at the receiving line in the front hall. Prim then looped her arm through Jeremy’s—having left home with him on foot for the short distance of three blocks rather than wait for Shane to fetch her in a carriage—and picked up her skirts with the other hand for the long climb up the grand staircase in the Harknesses’ central hall. Huge framed oils covered the wall beside her but all of her attention was focused on what lay waiting for her above.
Despite the public launch of said courting two days past, they hadn’t really been spotted by many people of her acquaintance yet. Tonight, the most handsome man she’d ever known would keep her company, dance with her in full sight of them all. Her yet unsuspecting brothers included. He’d tease, quite possibly flirt. Plus, he’d laid claim to not just one but all of her waltzes this evening.
After such marked attention, those who had seen her out and about in his company would share the news and the gossip would spread like wildfire, as it always did when some juicy new tidbit came along. Some ladies, most especially the young, hopeful debs, would wonder how such a dowdy widow had managed to snag his esteem. Some of the more jaded might speculate on what favors she was trading for his interest.
The conjecture, the eyes upon her as they’d never been before, would be nerve-wracking.
James’s undivided attention would be even more so. Especially after what had happened—or nearly happened—the previous afternoon.
She’d almost kissed him. Had desperately wanted to. For the first time, the yearnings of her heart had overridden logic. And for the first time since her father-in-law had begun harping on the topic of remarriage, she could see one advantage of doing so.
Fantasies she shouldn’t be having with words likefutureandforever. She reprimanded herself each time, remembering she didn’t want that. With anyone. Despite the examples he’d put forth, her experience with marriage wasn’t nearly so liberating as he believed possible. She had no intention of repeating the experiment with hopes of a better result.
She might like him, enjoy his company and want more, but that wasn’t at all the purpose of this endeavor. Nor was it what she wanted despite the shameless dreams that’d kept her tossing and turning all night. She’d spent the morning rereading back issues of the suffrage pamphlets, reminding herself of her goal.
Respect. Independence. Equality.
With James’s help, she would begin her fight. It galled her a tad that she’d enlisted a man as her confederate. The irony didn’t escape her. But as she had said before, she could admit there were some things she couldn’t do on her own. If breaking free of the control of four men took the help of one, she’d accept it.
However, she wouldn’t…couldn’t let it go beyond that.
Conspiracy was one thing, but she didn’t need a man to lead her, to protect her. She shouldn’t want one, either. For all his fantastical speeches, James MacKintosh wouldn’t be different than any other man when he took a wife. He’d rule his roost. Dominate and subdue.
No, she didn’t want that.
Oh, but there was that niggling voice deep down betraying her resolve. She might wanthim.
She needed to tuck that capricious notion aside and gather her resolve to focus on her goals and nothing more.
A full orchestra played, filling the second floor with melodious sound even beyond the ballroom doors as they reached the top of the stairs. Inside, Prim could see the swirl of skirts twirling around the dance floor in a spirited Galop. The ball was in full swing.
Where was James?
“Primrose, there you are.” Her father-in-law, Declan, stepped forward to meet them the moment she and Jeremy set foot into the ballroom. As if he’d been waiting for them.
