“Freaked out?” He chose a striped silk waistcoat and shrugged it on.
He was halfway through the buttons before Aila summoned the courage to go on. His inscrutability wasn’t precisely encouraging. “Taken aback?”
Aware that his gaze lingered on her while he pulled on a velvet jacket of bottle green that somehow altered his eyes to match, she took a deep breath and added, “Connected, close. The depth of feeling ye inspire in me is a little…”Terrifying.“… daunting.”
That made him pause. Finn came back to the bed and crouched down to eye level. “Do ye think ye’re the only one unsettled by our loveplay? Ye fill me with more passion than I’ve ever kent.”
God, she hoped it was more than that. She was tempted to ask if she still had a chance with him. If he could forgive her for withholding vital information. For leaving him without a word. No doubt if she were to press at this moment, the answer would not please her. Finn was burdened with so much already, it would be unfair for her to add another layer of pressure.
“I dinnae ken what else to say.” Aila blinked back the tears swimming in her eyes. “I never should have left and I regret every minute I spent away.”From ye.
“I guess there are some things one can escape from.” A mournful smile tugged at his lips. “Would I had that power. Today of all days. I cannae even react rationally to the smallest provocation right now. As ye said, it has been a long day.”
“I wouldnae exactly call any of this small. I’m sorry to have made it worse for ye.”
Finn could have the power to escape, if she offered it to him. Aila refrained. Chances were, it would be the worst play she could make right now. Resurrect her many mistakes? Provide him a means to escape her?
“I have been an arse, nae doubt. This day more than most.” And he even tried to take the blame? Aila couldn’t think of what she’d done to be blessed with him. “I’m afraid I have no’ yet had the opportunity to fully come to terms with everything ye’ve told me.”
“Take all the time ye need.”
His brows rose. “Truly? The lass I ken would demand I mull over my feelings on the matter straightaway. Aloud and for the world to hear.”
Aila shook her head. “I’ve recently come to the conclusion that bold and ballsy is merely a façade. Underneath, I’m a quivering mass of insecurities.”
“Ballsy?” Humor played on his lips. “No’ difficult to work that one out.” He glanced at the clock and his amusement faded away. “I need to be on my way. ’Tis already well past the time I was expected. We can argue the merits of yer character another time.”
His warm lips brushed her forehead before he eased away and gathered up the plans for the castle and rolled them into a tight tube. Turning back to her, he straightened his jacket. “How do I look?”
Beyond handsome. Lordly.
Determined.
He was armed, only not in the way she imagined. Aila wondered what he was planning to say or do when he came face to face with his wife. She wondered about a great many things. She’d settle for the simple assurance of his arms around her.
“Ye look dressed to kill,” she told him. “But please dinnae do anything too rash.”
Brushing back his short hair with both hands, he gave a curt nod. Desperate impulse drove her to her feet and Aila caught his arm before he could leave.
“Whatever happens….” She swallowed hard. It would give him more power than she’d already surrendered. To wield her emotions. To break her heart. Leaping out of an airplane without a parachute couldn’t have been more terrifying. It had to be said, nonetheless. If nothing else came of her time here, she would know she’d given her heart to a wonderful man. Freely and without expectation. For the first time in her life.
“Ye’re trembling,mo chridhe.” He gathered her into his arms. Burying her face against his chest, she savored the strength of him, tried to memorize the sound of his heartbeat. He murmured against the top of her head. “What has ye so shaken?”
“Ye do.” Summoning every iota of her courage, she tipped her head back and looked him in the eye. “Ye fill me with more than passion, Finn. I dinnae ken what’s to come, but I… I… want ye to ken that I love ye.”
His eyes flared. She didn’t wait to see whether it was fire or fear. Bouncing up on her toes, she flung her arms around his shoulders and kissed him with every ounce of love and nerves bottled up inside of her.
Rather than pull her closer, he eased her away. “Lass, I —”
“Nay, no’ now. Go.” She gave him a little shove. “I’ll be waiting for ye when ye’re done. If ye decide…never mind. Go, please. Do what ye have to do.”
He caught her hand and kissed it, giving her reason to hope.
“I’ll return soon.”
* * *
Aila fought the urge to race after Finn when the door closed behind him. Stifling it, she picked up the discarded pieces of her disguise from where she’d cast them on the floor. Padding, mask and wig, stockings and shoes. She stacked them neatly and lastly folded the long coat. Metal pinged against wood and she bent over to pick up the key that had fallen out of the pocket.
