Tess and Gran also offer apologies which Will seems slightly more ready to accept. “It’s okay,” he tells them.
“It most certainly is not!” I say to him. “These…people…have ruined everything! They’ve made your family feel horribly uncomfortable and they’ve completely disregarded our relationship in the process.” Turning back to the three unwise men (well, one man and two unwise ladies), I shake my head. “This is supposed to bethe best time of my life—getting ready to marry my soulmate and best friend. My wedding day is quickly approaching, and you’ve killed it like a bunch of traveling psycho wedding killers!” I mime stabbing like that psycho guy in that Alfred Hitchcock movie.
Oh, I’m on a roll now and this train is not stopping. “I do everything for this family. EVERYTHING! I take on all the shit charities without a word of complaint.”
“That’s not true,” Arthur says. “We all take on some pretty shit charities.”
“Oh really, Arthur? Have you ever spent the day with the Nonagenarian Mall Walkers??! Huh? Ever hadthat pleasure?”
“No, but—”
“Then zip it!” I say, pointing at him. “And you two messed up your wedding so badly that now Will and I have to suffer through the entire formal shitshow! And I had to shell out two and a half million dollars for a wedding we don’t even want! Yeah! How’s that for shitty?”
“Wait. What?” Will asks, turning to me.
Oh shit. That’s not how I wanted Will to find out. “Yeah, we’re way over ANN’s budget and because the family announced they’re not paying for it, I had to make up the difference.”
“Were you ever going to mention it to me?” he asks, looking understandably angry.
“Yes, of course, but to be honest, with everything going on, I kind of forgot about it.”
“You forgot you spent two and a half million dollars?” he asks.
“Yes,” I murmur. “But it’s fine because I’m incredibly loaded—I should say, we’re loaded, once the wedding happens, obviously.”
“We won’t be if you spend that kind of cash on a wedding…”
Arthur has the nerve to say, “He’s got you there.”
I turn on my brother and shout, “Shut up! It’s none of your business.”
“Then maybe don’t have the discussion in my suite,” Arthur quips.
And that’s the moment I finally snap.
“You know what? Forget it!” I holler, not even really thinking about what I’m saying. “The wedding’s off! Screw all of you and screw the people of Avonia with their unendingwedding lust! I’mdone. Done, done, done, done. If you can’t act with a proper sense of decorum, I’m out!” I nod at Will, then say, “We’re going full Megxit!”
His head snaps back while the others gasp.
And honestly, I’m not entirely sure what I’m saying at the moment, but I am loving the fact that they’re all terrified. “That’s right. FULL. MEGXIT. We’re eloping. Let’s go, Will! Scotland is waiting!”
Will just stares at me. “I’m not sure that now is the right moment to make this type of decision.”
“Are you serious?” I hiss at him.
“You’re upset and this is just a really huge thing you’re talking about. And it’s not the type of thing to decide when you’re angry,” he says in his regular calm voice that is irritating the shit out of me right now.
“Are you actually saying you want to live the big stupid royal life? With these…awful wedding spoilers?” I’ve finally cracked. I’m a completely bonkers wild bridezilla now, aren’t I?
Yes, yes, I am.
It’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience brought on by all the stress. I’m more like an observer to the insane woman screeching than actually being the one who’s responsible for all the noises coming out of her mouth. “Well, I’m out! In case you missed it, I’m DONE. Now, are you with me or are you withthem?” I ask, dragging the word ‘them’ out for several seconds.
“Obviously, I’m with you, but—”
“Good choice,” I say, cutting him off. “We pack now and leave as soon as one of the pilots is sober.”
“Belle, it’s my wedding too, right?” he asks gently.
