Brilliant.
Royal News –The Official Website for All Things Avonian Royal
Forum Thread: The Duchess of Bainbridge Celebrates her Birthday
(342 Currently Viewing, 12983 Total Views, 1744 Comments)
As of 2:04 a.m., Princess Arabella is officially thirty years old! Happy birthday to one of our royal family’s most lovely members. Wishing you the best for this next decade.
Felix (Courtier): Wishing Her Royal Highness the best (but knowing it’s likely to be a total disaster should she go through with the wedding to that ridiculous Knight of the No Shirt).
Stephen (Heir Presumptive): Agreed. I get the whole ‘opposites attract’ thing, but let’s not take it too far. We need at least one blood line in the family to stay blue.
Cindy (Serene Highness): Happy Birthday, lovely Princess Arabella! Dump Will. There are dozens of eligible men much more suited to you than that embarrassment.
Chapter 2
Oh Nothing … Just Getting Rubbed Down Like a Lamp with a Genie in it … You?
Will
“All right, people. Gather around,”Enid says. She’s a powerhouse with a low ponytail—a five-foot tall person with a seven-foot-tall presence. I’ve never worked with someone as professional or knowledgeable as her. And I’ve definitely never met someone who commands so much respect. She doesn’t even have to raise her voice. People just listen to her. The entire crew hops to it, instantly going from leisurely preparing for the day ahead to double-timing it to form a large circle around her.
I hurry in her direction, glancing at my security team and throwing them a quick wave and a nod, grateful that they’re keeping their distance for once. My head bodyguard—sorry,security officer—is Reynard Smit, a guy who looks like he should be puttering around in his garden rather than carrying a gun. Seriously, he’s old. He’s got to be sixty if he’s a day. Enid’s not a fan of my security detail, by the way. They’ve been a major hindrance the entire time we’ve been out here, insisting on going ahead of me to check for threats, which is ridiculous since this is a completely remote, uninhabited island, no one knows where we are, and no one wants to kidnap me in the first place. Every morning, they insist on doing ‘sweeps’ of the vicinity, only to lose two hours of daylight for them to determine it’s ‘all clear.’ And it’s not like any of them are equipped to deal with the real threats out here—poisonous plants and wild animals. Because of that,Ihave to go with them to keep them safe, only to have them determineI’msafe. A bit ridiculous, no?
Enid takes off her glasses and lets them hang from the chain around her neck. “Last day of filming. Just the promo reel stuff. I want to thank everyone for being professionals these past six weeks…with a couple of notable exceptions,” she says, glancing at my friends, Tosh and Mac, who have been with me from the start. Tosh is a cameraman and Mac’s a sound guy, and they’re both what you’d call Type B to the max. Enid glares at them for a second, then adds, “The conditions have been challenging and we managed to get out of here with everyone alive and with all body parts intact, so mission accomplished. Now, let’s get this over with so we can get the hell out of this jungle. I don’t know about you, but I’d maim just about any of you for a cold beer and a hot shower.”
The group breaks into a quick round of applause, but Enid waves it off. “No time. Let’s do this.”
I wait while people hustle off to get ready, then approach Enid. “So, promo reel day, hey?”
“Yup,” she says, picking up her clipboard off a table and sliding her glasses on.
“I was hoping we could change things up a bit this time around,” I say. “You know, to keep it fresh.”
Glancing at me, she says, “I’m afraid the networkdoeswant the shirtless shots of you, if that’s what you mean.”
Damn. “What if we tell them we forgot?”
She stares at me from above the rims of her glasses. “Then I look like I forget things. Which I don’t.”
Lowering my voice, I say, “Listen, I don’t want to be difficult or anything. It’s just that the half-naked thing isn’t exactly playing well with my fiancée’s family.”
“Too bad the audience at the palace is so much smaller than the one we’re selling ads to,” she says, walking away.
I follow her. “But, what if—”
“Sorry, Will. I know it makes you uncomfortable, but it’s a must. Take it up with the executives when we get back to Valcourt. Maybe they’ll change their minds. In the meantime, take off your shirt and go get oiled up. Trixie is ready for you.”
“Come on, Enid,” I say. “You can’t want to do this, right? It’s a little weird.”
“Because I’m a lesbian?” she asks without looking up from her clipboard.
“Well…yeah. I mean, this must gross you out a bit and there’s no way I’d want to contribute to a hostile workplace.”
She gives me a deadpan expression and chews her gum at me in a way that feels somehow aggressive. “How thoughtful of you, but I assure you it’s not a problem for me. I may not want to buy what you’re selling, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like window shopping once in a while.”
Okkkaaayyyy….
