NEVER.
ANN has made sure of it with all these bloody shirtless videos of me and by plastering my face across a plane, for God’s sake. And now, Icriedon television?
Showing emotion is not exactly acceptable among royals. It even says it right in the handbook, “Thou shall not display any emotion that will cause others discomfort.” Okay, I’m paraphrasing, but still… This is BAD. I was already a punchline for the upper crust of Avonia (and likely beyond), but now I’m not sure I can come back from it. I can’t even imagine what the trolls on those royal forums are saying, but rest assured, there are a lot of grown men laughing their arses off in their mothers’ basements today.
When I think about what this’ll do to Arabella, my stomach does flips. She had to fightfartoo hard for anyone to take her seriously, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to totally kill it for her (if I haven’t already).
The truth is, if this hasn’t done it, something else will. It’s just a matter of time. I’ll just do or say the wrong thing and it’ll get blown up in the media as some horrible scandal and…I could ruin her life. The closer we get to the big day, theless positiveI am that I'm going to manage to make it through the next forty or fifty years without embarrassing her beyond all possibility of turning back.
I turn to Reynard and ask, “What are the chances they’ll never hear about this ridiculous Sir Cries-a-Lot business?”
He hesitates and I say, “Zero percent, right?”
Nodding, he says, “I’d say that’s likely.”
“You know I’m not a wimp, right Reynard?”
“Of course, sir.”
Sir.
Sir Cries-a-Lot. Grrrr… “Sir Cries-a-Lot. Psh! How about Sir Until Today Has Only Cried Once as an Adult?” I say, referring to the night I spent wedged into a narrow ravine in the Congo believing I was going to die there. But I only cried when I made a goodbye video for my family, and who wouldn’t? You’d have to be made of stone. Sigh, I add, “Or Sir Never Cries Despite Many Tragedies.”
“Much better, Will,” he says with a comforting nod. “Definitely more on-the-mark, if not a tad wordy.”
“Well, we’d have to finesse it…” I say, then stop in my tracks and look up at the blue sky. “We’d have to finesse it? I’m going a little bonkers here.”
“Totally natural under the circumstances,” he says.
Notice he doesn’t deny it? Hmm…
“I know it shouldn't matterat all, but let’s face it—it does,” I tell him, leaning in and lowering my voice. “Not because the world now knows I have normal human emotions, but because it's just one more reason for the family to dislike me. That giant asshat Nigel Wood didn't even manage to make Arabella tear up—and she's widely known as the softest one in the bunch. So, what the hell does that make me?”
He opens his mouth, but I shake my head. “Please don’t answer that.”
“Anyone to think less of you is not worth knowing.”
“Yeah, good point,” I say, nodding.
“He’s right, Cuddle Bear,” Rosy, who clearly has been listening, says as she approaches from the lobby. “Don’t give all those jealous haters a second thought.”
She reaches up and pinches my cheek.
“So, you saw it already too?”
“No, but the FedEx guy did,” she says casually.
Well, that’s just great.
“So, where are the fancy schmancies?” she asks. “I thought they’d be here by now.”
I give her a look. “Rosy, can you at least try to welcome them?”
She shrugs. “I’ll try but it’ll be hard. I do not like what they’re doing to my Cuddle Bear. They are stressing you out. And that handbook on how to behave? Come on!” she says, her voice getting louder with each word. “You know what’s rude? Telling people how to behave!”
I glance over to the camera crew, terrified that they’re already filming this, but, thankfully, they’re still setting up. “I promise you they’re not like that when you get to know them,” I tell her.
“Who’s not like what?” Emma asks, rushing over in her chef’s uniform. She is only able to make a brief appearance before she has to get back to the restaurant.
