I actuallyhavelooked at the facial menu. In fact, last night, I spent a good hour poring over it, then googling all the included treatments along with ‘Is this the best for wrinkle prevention?’ In the end, I’ve decided to go with the After Glow Anti-aging and Tightening Service — for those clients with the earliest phases of sagging, drooping, and fine lines. Glancing at Tessa and Nikki, I lower my voice. "I'll take the After Glow."
Kate gives my face an intense inspection, her eyes locking on the line across my forehead. "Have you considered the Oxygen Goddess Treatment?"
Oh God. It’s worse than I thought. The Oxygen Goddess is for those who are already experiencing fine lines, wrinkles, and sagging. It’s a three-step process including a deep exfoliating glycolic acid peel, an antioxidant mask, then a hydrating vitamin C and peptide serum that is left on for twenty minutes.
I give her a slight nod and settle myself on the adjustable bed. Plucking the champagne off the table, I take two quick gulps to douse the flames of irritation flickering in my chest. New Age music is being piped in over the speakers but at the moment, instead of typical spa fare of flutes and rain sticks, it seems to be a blend of mating cats and cymbals being dropped down a set of stairs.
Kate exits the room to prepare my special old lady formula, leaving Tessa, Nikki, and me alone.
"So how was the phone sex?" Nikki asks.
"Ourconversationwas delightful," I answer. "Will is going to be back tomorrow night so he and I will celebrate then."
"Brilliant," Tessa says. "How long will he be in town this time?"
"Not sure," I answer. "I'm hoping long enough to get a good start on the wedding plans, but with Dylan running his life, it's doubtful we’ll get past choosing invitations."
"I can't believe you're waiting for him to help choose everything," Tessa says. "I mean, it's taking forever and, at the end of the day, does he really even care that much?"
"Of course he cares,” I say, feeling rather defensive. “This wedding is every bit as important to him as it is to me."
"Is it really?" Nikki asks, lifting both cucumber slices to give me a skeptical look. “Didhespend years cutting out pages from magazines and pasting together an album of his perfect future wedding?”
“I never should have shown you that,” I say. “Stupid Margaritas and Man Bash Monday. There was a time, yes, when I would have obsessed over every detail, but not anymore. I’m older and wiser now.”
“You mean since midnight?” Tessa teases.
“Hardy-har-har,” I say, rolling my eyes. “No, since I started my work at the UN. My perspectives on what’s truly important have changed drastically, and linen colour really doesn’t make the cut.”
“In that case, why don’t you just hand your book over to a wedding planner and let them take it from there?” Tessa asks.
“God, no. Do you know how embarrassing that would be?” I say. “No one isevergoing to see that book. In fact, I’m going to go home and burn it.”
“Donotburn it,” Tessa says. “It’s like getting a glimpse into your lovely mind.”
“The mind of ateenagerwho didn’t know any better.”
“I agree with Tessa. Use the book. Just pull out the page with your face superimposed on Posh Spice’s body on her wedding day,” Nikki says, leading to her and Tessa snickering.
“Or the brainstorming bit where you wonder if a white horse could be dyed pink and have a horn affixed to his head so he’ll look like a unicorn,” Tessa adds.
“Okay, thank you,” I grind out. “Let’s drop it. I’m not using any ideas from that stupid book. But maybe you’re right about one thing—maybe Will and I should just hire someone, give them a quick overview of what we want, and let her do her thing. That way we can both get back to the important things in life.”
"As nice as that sounds, that's not how royal weddings work," Tessa says. "It's a massive production that will eat up all your time and energy and drive you completely insane until you’re a complete bridezilla by the time you’re ready to walk down the aisle.”
“The last thing I’m going to do is turn into abridezilla,” I answer, feeling quite put out. “I refuse to get upset about something so meaningless as flower arrangements or appetizers. I’m going to be a calm, breezy bride who keeps the entire event in perspective. The wedding is about the joining of two lives and two families. Period. That’s what matters.” I let out a long sigh. “I wish we could just keep it very small and very private like your wedding. Yours was lovely.”
"It was only lovely because we buggered it all up by breaking off the engagement, then getting back together and insisting on having the wedding without enough time for the whole big royal fuss,” Tessa says. "And I’m sorry to tell you, but because Arthur and I robbed the public of the very grand event they believe they’re owed, it's going to fall to you to do that."
Dammit, she’s right. There really is no way to escape it, is there? “Well, no matter. I can keep the big picture in mind, remain calm, and let any little issues that crop up pass me by.”
Neither of them answer, and I look over to see they’ve both put their cucumbers back down again, presumably to avoid eye contact. “Seriously, I know you don’t think it’s possible, but Iamgoing to be the world’s most-Zen bride.”
Kate walks back in the room with a tray bearing plates of cucumbers and a bowl with whatever anti-aging crap they've mixed together for me.
She sets the tray on the table next my glass of champagne, then walks over to a metal cabinet and opens it, taking out two hot towels. "Lie back, please."
I do as she asks, and a moment later feel a deliciously warm, moist towel covering the upper half of my face with my nostrils exposed. Then the second one is laid on the bottom half, covering my neck and décolletage.
