"I am. I just feel so stupid. I mean, what was I thinking? You must figure me for the biggest idiot in the world."
"Of course not. Honestly, meeting me at the airport in nothing but a coat and some undies? Very sexy."
"Or at least it would've been."
"It's still very sexy, Arabella. But honestly, to me, everything you do is a huge turn-on."
"Oh, please, I find that hard to believe. Out of the two of us,you'rethe sexy one. I'm the boring, proper one."
“Hey,” he says in a slightly sharp tone. “You’re talking about my fiancée and I won’t have anyone slagging the woman I love—not even her.”
I let out a small grin when normally I’d laugh at a comment like that.
“Is that why you did it?" Will asks. “Because you really believe you’re boring?"
"Maybe," I say, my heart pounding a little bit quicker in my chest. I take another sip of my drink, feeling the icy cold liquid slide down my throat. “God. Here you had some sort of fun birthday celebration planned and I've gone and ruined the entire evening."
"Clearly, you also had different plans in mind — plans which I most certainly would've been on board for. And you didn't ruin anything. The dumbass at the airport who forgot to put the sign up is the one who ruined the evening."
"True," I say, closing my eyes as another flash of me kneeling on the floor in my own chocolatey mess assaults my senses.
"You know, the evening's not over yet…"
"Urgh, I'm a mess. The undies dyed my skin and, to be honest, my face wasn't so bright red because of the heat in there. I burned it yesterday at the spa, trying to get an advanced anti-aging treatment done."
"Anti-aging?" Will asks, sounding somewhere between confused and disappointed. "Why would you do that? You're so young and beautiful. Not that I’d ever want you to burn your skin. No matter how wrinkly it gets."
"God, it's all so stupid. It's like I turned thirty and I just got dumber than I ever have been.”
"I hope I've never done anything to make you think you have to do crap like that to yourself," he says, his voice echoing around the room.
"Of course not," I say quickly. “You've never been anything but amazing to me. You do a remarkable job of making me feel beautiful."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm gone all the damn time."
"Oh, Will, we both know that the fact that you're gone a lot is my fault, so I hardly could blame you for it. Besides, all of this silliness is just me being in my own head." The curtain moves the tiniest bit beside me and I jump a little, then see it's just his hand. He's holding his palm out to me and I slide my wet fingers through his. He squeezes my hand gently, then pulls my arm onto his side of the curtain, and I feel his lips brush against my knuckles. His touch brings out my courage, so I suck back the rest of my drink, and set the glass down on the ledge of the tub. He deserves the whole truth.
"The thing is, since we got engaged, there's just this nagging little voice telling me I need to be absolutely perfect for you to stay…interested. I know it's not logical —"
"— or healthy."
"That too. But I just…I don't know… I think I was trying to find some way to make it up to you — the whole royal thing. I know what a pain in the arse the security team has been for you and I doubt you're going to enjoy even a second of our wedding and there's just always going to be things that you’re going to have to show up for that I know you're going to hate."
"So you thought you needed to burn a layer of skin off?"
"I guess in some stupid way I thought that if I could be really exciting and really sexy, it would give you a reason towantto come home every time you leave."
Will presses his lips to the back of my hand for a long moment. When he speaks, his voice is full of emotion. "It breaks my heart to hear you say this. You’re my reason to come home. Just you, exactly the way you are. You and your smile and your perfectly wonderful heart and your enormous sense of justice…"
I let out a small chuckle.
"Belle, I love my work, but I love you more. It used to be that nothing thrilled me like getting on a plane to my next adventure. Now, nothing thrills me like coming home to you. You really are sexy and beautiful and smart and you always will be, even when we’re both old and grey. You'll always be it for me and you don't have to keep trying to impress me because I'm already yours."
My throat tightens as my eyes fill with tears. "Thank you. That's what I needed to hear."
"Remember it, okay? No matter what happens or how long I have to go away. Just know that the way I feel about you isnevergoing to change. It couldn't. Not in a thousand years. Not even if I wanted it to.”
I take a long gulp of air, hoping to stop myself from crying. On the other side of the curtain, Will rubs his thumb over my knuckles. "Are you okay?"
