Will
32
Wherever You Are in Life, Pretend It’s Exactly Where You Want to Be…
Arabella
ABN Evening News with Giles Bigly
“Good evening,I’m Giles Bigly, and welcome to ABN’s Evening News. Our top story this Saturday, November fifteenth, comes to us from Valcourt Palace, where preparations for the Order of Avonia Gala are under way. The annual event takes place tonight at eight p.m., where seven new inductees will be granted the Order of Avonia. We’ll go live there in just a bit, but first, over to former news anchor Veronica Platt, who has agreed to be our woman on the street tonight while we’re looking for a replacement for yours truly. Veronica is joining us live from the Valcourt Airport where, in roughly one hour, she and the cast and crew ofThe World’s Best Survivor Challengewill be boarding a flight to Greenland. Veronica, tell us what’s going on.”
Veronica stands in front of the sliding doors at the airport next to her suitcase, holding a microphone. “Oh, now I get it. That reallyisirritating when the anchor tells the entire story.”
“Isn’t it?” Giles asks with a bright smile.
“Quite. Anyway, it’s going to be a crazy fun night for the cast and crew ofThe World’s Best Survivor Challenge. We’ve chartered a flight to take everybody over, and we’ll be filming as our competitors get to know each other. There should be lots of trash talk and jockeying to see who’s the top dog. But I doubt anyone will be getting much sleep.”
The camera pans to a group of people all talking excitedly at the gate. “As you can see, all the greats are here—Survivorman himself, Les Stroud, Bear Grylls, Laura Zerra and E.J. “Skullcrusher” Snyder from Discovery Channel’sNaked and Afraid. We also have Mykel Hawke, Amanda Jenkins, and of course, ABN’s own Will Banks, who is favoured to take the million-dollar prize along with Amanda.”
“I don’t know,” Giles says, shaking his head. “I have to say, my money’s on Les Stroud for this one. He grew up in Canada, and Will just doesn’t have the experience to best him in a cold climate.”
“Well, only time will tell, Giles,” Veronica says. “But I, for one, am rooting for our homegrown hero.”
“I’m sure you are,” Giles answers. “Thanks for that fascinating bit of journalism, Veronica, and enjoy your stay in Greenland. I hope you packed your parka. I heard it’s minus fifteen degrees Celsius there at the moment.”
Veronica’s smile morphs into a look of dread, complete with flared nostrils and dead eyes. “It’ll be grand, I’m sure.”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Well, you have fun. I’ll just be right here in this warm studio behind this solid desk. We’ll be back after a word from our sponsors.”
The feed cuts and a commercial for inflatable wizarding hats for cats starts up.
* * *
“Ugh, why did you let me watch that?” I ask Nikki, who is putting the finishing touches on my hair. We’ve opted for a rose-shaped braided bun with a few loose pieces to frame my face.
“You’re the one that put it on,” she says, her words muffled slightly by the bobby pin between her teeth. “But I’m not sorry we saw it. That’s one Bear I’d hibernate with.”
“Take it from me—the last thing you want is some outdoorsy survival guy. Sure, they seem all dangerous and exciting, but they’re not exactly marriage material.”
“Who said anything about marriage? I’d settle for a few months of caveman sex,” she says, taking the straight section of hair near my cheek and rolling it up with the curling iron.
“Not worth it,” I answer. “You’d end up getting too attached, and, if you’re not careful, you’ll end up with five kids to look after while he’s off swinging from vines in the Amazon.”
Nikki carefully pulls the iron out of my hair and checks to make sure it’s got just enough bounce. “Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?”
“You, obviously,” I say. “I already know this by heart.”
“Done,” she says, stepping back and smiling at me in the mirror.
I look at my reflection and see a very sophisticated, wildly unhappy princess. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”
“Any time,” Nikki says, starting to pack up her things. “Do you need any help with your dress, because if not, I thought I’d swing by Tessa and Arthur’s and see if Xavier’s still there.”
Chuckling, I tell her I’m fine and to have fun.
But as soon as she leaves, that awful feeling overtakes me again—it’s a blend of utter emptiness mixed with absolute restlessness that I’m filled with each evening. So typical—I’m fine during the day when my mind is busy with the Equal Everywhere Campaign. Anyway, I am happy with my life. Really, I am. Mostly when I’m around other people doing things that make me proud. But when I allow myself any time to think at all, I have to face the gaping hole where my heart should be.
I’ve tried everything, but nothing works. Actually, I’ve only tried two things. I did a PGX workout once (which was terribly painful). The rest of the time, I’ve gone with calling down to the kitchen for various night snacks—burgers, fries and milkshakes, pizza, chocolate torte, and the odd pecan tarts. Hmm…I could go for one of each right now, because I am absolutely miserable to be dressing up in an elegant gown to attend what could be a very romantic autumn ball with Gran as my date. I thought my days of dating my grandmother were over.
