I suppose now would be the perfect time for me to admit that we’re not together anymore. But instead, I find myself saying, “There’s no one on earth that I trust more.”
* * *
I’m lingering here in the studio even though filming ended over twenty minutes ago and it’s horribly awkward because I’m standing here alone, literally in the corner, while the network executives surround Will and Amanda. I feel too out of place to join the group and none of them seem keen to come over and hang out with the wallflower. There’s really only one person I want to come talk to me and he’s far too preoccupied. Also, I dumped him, so…
I just hang around pretending I’m very busy. I’ve already scrolled through my IG feed whilst keeping a very serious expression on my face (in the fashion of a model pretending to be a librarian). I’ve stared hard at a spot on the floor and rubbed at it with the bottom of my shoe as though I’m considering purchasing the network and my decision rests on whether or not that spot is permanent. I’ve also done the ‘just looking through my handbag for my car keys’ thing, even though I’m not fooling anyone because princesses who ride in limos don’t actually have car keys.
What else did you lose in there, Arabella? Your dignity?
Yes. Yes, I did.
I look back up at the group. They’re chatting and laughing like a bunch of smug lawyers celebrating a class action lawsuit victory. Blech. That Victor Petty just slapped Will on the back, and they’re chuckling away like old buddies.Don’t fall for it, Will. None of these people care about you. They only care how much money you can make them.
I should be happy for him, I know that. A good person would be, but somehow I don’t have it in me. I should go. The humiliation grows exponentially by the minute.Just turn and walk out, Arabella. There’s nothing left for you here.
Although if I give him a couple more minutes, maybe he’ll walk over and I can talk to him for just another minute or two. I’m not quite ready for us to never have a reason to see each other again.
Oh God, this is it, isn’t it? As soon as I walk out of this building, this isactuallyover. For real.
But isn’t that what I wanted?
How can I be so confused? I’ve spent the last two weeks absolutely kind of sort of positive I’d made the right choice, but the second I saw him tonight, all those excellent reasons for breaking up vanished. It doesn’t help that I had to spend ninety minutes sitting so close to him that I could smell his manly scent. Sigh. I suppose watching us go through what we did out there in the jungle didn’t exactly make it easier—seeing myself at my toughest and happiest. Hearing us laugh and kiss and talk about everything and nothing. He believed in me out there. He did. It was written all over his face. If only he hadn’t stopped. But maybe he didn’t and I’ve gone and fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me?
Bellford approaches me. “Your Highness, if you’d like to leave, Norm says the crowd has dispersed outside and he’s pulled up along the side door.”
“Righto,” I say, giving him a quick nod. “I think I’ll stay for a few minutes in case they need anything else from me, like photo ops or some such.”
Who am I kidding? Nobody is going to need me for photo ops.
“Very good, Miss,” he says, then takes a few steps away and talks into his sleeve to give Norm the heads-up.
I should leave. I’m making a total arse of myself here. But if I stay, maybe we can talk and maybe that’ll lead to us going for a drink and maybe that drink will lead to us kissing and that kiss will lead to us starting over. And maybe this time we’ll get it right. I’ll make things easier for him instead of harder, and we’ll live happily ever after and we’ll prove that a person really can have it all.
Oh, now wait just a bloody minute. Amazing Amanda is touching Will’s arm and they only met like ten seconds ago. Oh, really, Amanda? If we were still a couple, I wouldnotbe happy about him spending however many days in the wilderness with the likes of her. She’s clearly making a play for him, which, if you think about it, is a pretty shit move considering the fact that the world thinks we’re still a couple.
Dylan comes over and stands next to me, holding out a can of Red Bull for me. “I thought you might be thirsty.”
“No, thank you,” I say, stiffening up.
“I wanted to apologize for what I tried to do to your family,” she says in a rare moment of humanity. “When I get on a project, I’m like a dog with a bone. I don’t know when to let up.”
“Indeed.”
“ABN hired me to make Will a star, and that’s what I’m doing,” she says, cracking open the can and taking a swig. “He’s got what it takes to go all the way. Handsome, likeable, smart, and daring. He’s the whole package. But you already know that.”
“Yes, of course.” I watch as Amanda says something that makes Will laugh. Oh, yes, I’m sure she’s terribly clever on top of being a super-human, sporty bendy woman who flies through the air with the greatest of ease.
“They’ll make a good team,” she says. “They definitely don’t have the delicious sexual tension that the two of you had, but with any luck, they’ll win.”
“I hope they do,” I say. “He deserves a win.”
“He does. He’s a good man. Plus, people love the whole orphan-makes-good angle. Really plays well on the telly,” Dylan says. “If you don’t mind me saying, Your Highness, you two are incredible together. Right up there with Fred and Ginger or Tom and Rita.” She smiles at me. “If you ever want to do another show together of any kind, just let me know. I have So. Many. Ideas for the two of you.”
My answer must be written on my face because she says, “Probably not. Not with me, anyway.”
“Quite right,” I answer, then I can’t help but feel a teensy bit bad. After all, she did apologize, and she also agreed to keep my family’s secret.
“Anyway, thank you for being so supportive of what Will is trying to do with ANN,” Dylan says. “There’s a lot riding on his shoulders and it’s easier for everyone that he has someone as understanding as you.”
