“No problem,” I say.
“Will, I’m going to go now. But before I do. I just wanted to say…thank you.”
“Buy me a beer when we get to town.”
“Okay,” she answers, letting out a small chuckle. “I’ll be back for you before you know it.”
“Yes, you will. You can do this, Arabella.”
“How are you so sure?” she asks.
“Because you’ve always been able to. You just needed a reason to try.”
A resounding “awwww” is heard around the studio, and I glance down at Arabella’s hand, very much wanting to reach for her. When I look up at her, she’s staring at my hand too and I know deep down, she’s not over me.
* * *
Bugger. They’re playing my stupid sappy ‘goodbye to everyone I love’ recording. I knew it would happen, but honestly, it’s just so awful to have to sit through this.
“…Arabella, if you see this, I didn’t mean all those BEEP things that I said. I lied to you when we were playing truth or dare. I do have a fear and you already know what it is. I’m afraid of letting anyone get close to me. I am a complete coward and I’ve done exactly what you said I did, which is to set my life up so I could sidestep love completely. When you were sick, I thought for sure I was going to lose you and the pain of it made me even more certain that I don’t have what it takes to go the distance with anyone. I can’t do it because you never know how long you’ve got with someone, and I can’t be the one left behind. You were right. I’m too weak for that.
“But I want you to know these past days out here with you have been the greatest of my entire life. I have never felt anything close to what I feel for you, and if I had made it out of this alive, I would sweep you up into my arms and never let you go. For what it’s worth, I love you, and I want you to go on and be the totally kickass version of yourself I watched come to life out here. Don’t let anyone underestimate you. But if they do, you show them who you really are. You’re fierce. You’re brave. You are a warrior. Thank you for trying to save me. Please don’t spend a moment feeling guilty for how things ended up, because there is nothing you could’ve done.”
Arabella’s voice is heard. “Well, that’s a little insulting. You assumed I’d fail.”
A cheer erupts, filling the room and making Arabella laugh. She looks adorably thrilled by their reaction. You know, for a total harpy.
* * *
I’ve almost made it now. We’ve been watching her drag me through the jungle and down the road, all set to inspirational classical music for about three minutes. Oh God, now we’re at the part where I tell her the time already ran out. This is so hard to watch because all the feelings come rushing back and I’m overwhelmed with an incredible sense of pride and love for her. I can feel my heart breaking for her, just like it did that day, and I want to wrap her in my arms and tell her it’s okay, even though it’s in the past and the very last thing she wants is my arms around her.
I want to whisper that I’m proud of her. I want to whisper that I’m still in love with her. I feel a shift in the emotion between us. It’s the closeness that we shared out in the Congo and the closeness we had until a few weeks ago, when everything felt possible and perfect. But what if it’s all in my mind?
Almost there. It’s the dramatic ending, where she pulls me over the last hill and the reporters and medical staff all start rushing toward us. It’s pouring rain and she is a force to be reckoned with, while I am pretty much dead weight. She’s yelling for an ambulance for me, and I feel a lump in my throat while I watch her. Forgetting everything that’s happened in the last few weeks, I reach out and take her hand in mine and squeeze it. “Thank you,” I say to her.
She smiles up at me and squeezes my hand back, tears filling her eyes.
But then I remember and pull my hand away, digging my nails into my palms to stop myself from telling her I still love her. Finally, the theme song starts up, and the audience bursts into applause, rising to their feet for a standing ovation. I stand and hold both hands out toward her for the audience to cheer for her. She bows and then does the same for me, as though we’re just two actors who have wrapped up a Broadway play.
Okay, the worst is over—I hope. Now we just have to get through the after-show and I’ll be fine. One more hour. Then, I get to spend the rest of my days trying to forget her.Wunderbar.
30
That’s All Folks…
Arabella
“Welcometo thePrincess in the Wild After-show! I’m your host, Dylan Sinclair. Over the past five weeks, we’ve followed Will Banks, professional adventurer, nature enthusiast, and survival expert, as he first led, then wasrescuedby, Avonia’s own Princess Arabella, Duchess of Bainbridge. We’ve seen them make their dangerous and often romantic journey through the jungles of Zamunda,” Dylan stands in the aisle at the back of the theatre, the spotlight on her. “They’ve faced giant rats, bats, and amorous bonobos, but most of all, they faced each other.”
She starts walking down the steps toward the stage, fanning out her hand, and I have to say I really hate this woman with a passion. “Two opposites from completely different worlds—completely differentsidesof the world, in fact—who had to learn to meet each other halfway. We’ve seen Will go from arrogant and condescending to patient teacher, and then finally, to patient in danger. We’ve seen Princess Arabella go from being a whiny, pampered debutant to becoming a true warrior who literally dragged her partner to safety to save his life.” She pauses to let the audience soak in her dramatic opening.
“It’s been an emotional journey. It’s been funny. It’s been heartwarming and it’s been terrifying. But mostly, it’s been damned exciting, am I right?” she asks.
The crowd enthusiastically applauds.
“I want to thank everyone who’s been tuning in every Thursday night because each one of you has helped to set a record. We are happy to announce that this is the highest-rated show ABN has ever had.” Dylan pauses for a round of applause. “Better than that, thelast three episodeshave been the highest rated programs in their slot in the following countries: England, Scotland, Ireland, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Italy, France, Portugal, and of course, here in Avonia.
“Over the next hour, we are going to bring you viewer reactions as well as hear from Princess Arabella and Will themselves to find out what were their worst and best moments out there—although I think we can guess that one!”
